I don't want to hurt her, but of course I do. I love her. She hurts me all the time, mostly unintentional, but the other times... clearly on purpose. She turns all my heroic acts of "love," into petty psychiatric fights which hurt everyone. And I tried so hard for her. She just doesn't see me. See the streets and the pain. When i was crying one day outside she put her head on my shoulder and held my hand.
It was really nice and it helped a little. She NEVER does things like that in her home. She just goes away, blames me, yells at me, etc.
I am not really a masochist, but the way I let her treat me... It's not a good precident to set. Her house gives her permission to act strangely, it seems. Hurtfully always. I'm a natural sensitive, feeling somethings stronger than other people do. She likes to hurt me when I'm with her at her house. Though she may not even understand it, it's obvious; It happens every time.
It may even be the house acting with her/through her. These things have happened before. She keeps bringing me to the house despite all my prior bad experiences there. Why? To hurt me more? To beat the odds with a "good experience" for a change?
I'll end with she doesn't listen to me, the worst of them all. I tell her what I need, ask her what she needs, she can't tell me.
Please tell me. When she did it was, " I want to be your friend, lover, and whatever I want whenever I want. You get no say in our relationship. OK?"
No. Of course that's not OK. It's completely selfish.
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