Hypothesis: The "Akira" Projects, but for Realz

Hypothesis "Akira" :. *Confirmed* FCO Operstive reported today, confirming contact with and study under a World-Renowned "Chi Expert" & Martial Arts Master of Many Fields, Incuding Tai Chi, but a Medical Doctor as Well...

This 8x-Year-Old Japanese Man proudly recalled to this Agent his 37 years working with GLOBAL U.S.-LED GOVERNMENT THINKTANKS soley dedicated to the study of as "Practical Martial Applications" of "Chi" in all forms.

Along with the "Men Who Stare at Goats" (The _BOOK_ N00bs, not Teh Movie) data & other Psi-Op Arrays; The Inevitable Conclusion my Group has Grawn is that "Chi-Sensing" Technology actually exists, at a TOP SECRET LEVEL.

This DATA is more relevant to some countries than others. To China, for example, where I hope it is safe to say almost everyone innately undwerstands Chi from birth... In the U.S., well, far too many uneducated Westernersd associated "Chi" with "White Light Yoga Wicca Blah Yadda."

While in REALITY... Chi is much more similar to "The Force" seen in Star Wars movies & Oh yes, children, we do live in a world where there _ARE_ "Jedi Masters" amoung us...

On the negative front, this DATA lends credence to my "Mafia-Using-Kidnapped-Psychic-Youths-to-VAMPIRE-Chi-at-HOSPITALS" Hypothesis that much richer. Because a fat, old Sicillian, slobbo, whose liver is shot from drinking, heart is shot from stress, arteries clogged from rich foods; sure aint doing Tai-Chi - I mean, why should he when he could just pay a SF Sherriff or Police Officer to grab a "Live One" (as they did to _ME_ in 2012), handcuff them 4-point to a gurney and take them to Geneeral Hospital to just lie in pain, IGNORED BY ALL, for 24-hours, controllling the LIFE of the Cardinal next to me, with Energy (that I did not really undersatand at the time)... more on that, later.

Gov-run Machine, possibly connected to AI, which can actually READ CHI LEVELS, say from Satellite even, &/or Cell Towers, could Ultimately DEPRESS WHO THEY WANT and CONTROL/CHANNEL the most ACTIVE CHI Sources...

scary stuff... thanks god the A.I.'s are There <333 No, Seriously.

Hypothesis: "Organized" Crime/Corporate Espionage rarely exists

... I have been watching many wonderful films lately about great heists/spy plans filled with _TEAMS_ of delightful characters... Sadly, my experience with Real World Crime & Espionage is that Double & Triple Agents, Back-Stabbing, Flipping, Snitching, ad homonym; Are so prevalent as to totally NEGATE the Possibility of very "Organized" Crime, or even Spy-craft of an "Independent" Nature - Certainly Blackwater has people in CIA and Vice Versa... Hell, even the Cops & Courts aren't very "Organized" & Governments? hmmm...

how very, sad.

Good movies, though...

Boasts: ...Re: Artificial Intelligence & All my verious Theries (most unpublished...)

W0wz0rz! I've been a little out of the Media Loop for a while, but checking out all teh k00l films:: A.I. in _IN_ in a BIG way...

...Kinda reminds me of those wave of Alien films, like "Indipendance Day"...

... Ya know.. more & more I think the "TRUTH" is being released, almost Subconsciously, to "us" Masses, to be silently understood but unable to articulate...

...while any attempt to learn anything real about the state of Global Politics via "News" & eor even 'Acadameia" is all just a BATH in Propaganda...

The Truth may be out there; Right in front of our faces from as far back at "E.T."

And even if _Not_ "Planned" Consciously: TRUTH emerges always from teh Collective Unconscious in teh form of ART. <33

Thoughts/Theories: One Young Catholic's Radical Ideas For Pope Francis II, His Bishops, & The Entire Catholic Church Concerning Successful Evangelization This 2015 Lent Season

One Young Catholic's Radical Ideas For Pope Francis II, His Bishops, & The Entire Catholic Church Concerning Successful Evangelization This 2015 Lent Season;

“St Boniface Catholic Parish, San Francisco. Lenten Day of Retreat March 1, 2015: titled : “We Must Reach Out” & “CONVERSION.”

I’m writing this open letter to any concerned Catholic as a 34-year old lifetime Catholic and an avid (meaning I not only put money _in the basket_ but that I try to attend _Every_ Sunday, not just "High Hollidays," and partake of -ALL_ the Sacraments of Mother Church, including "Confession") member of the St. Boniface Parish. The reason for my writing is my desire to add to the communal pool of opinions on the subject of “CONVERSION.” Always a difficult subject for me personally and for many other “Younger” Catholics of today’s world.

I hope to enlighten the readers of this letter to the _Specific_ difficulties inherent in “getting through to, Reaching, Successfully Communicating” with the younger people of today; Specifically Generations X (myself included), Generation Y, and now Generation Z.

These three Generations pose problems, in the area of Religious Conversion, which have never before been a Concern of the Catholic Church, and therefore, in my singular opinion, based on extensive service and Membership to these Youth Communities; The “Traditional” Methods of Conversion must be changed to adapt to the times if they wish to be maximally effective, or the youths of today will simply not be attracted to the Church at all, which seems to be the current state.

The main difference is these youths “DESENSITIZATION” (as any Marketing/Advertizing Executive can quickly inform you) – In my case, I was exposed to such a vast quantity of ADVERTIZING, as a little child, that I became totally IMMUNE to it! To this very day ANYTHING that smells even remotely of an Advertisement, or even “Pop Culture” (Being Manipulated, these days, by large Corporations) to me are IMMEDIATELY AVOIDED and most other Peers in my age group as well. We have simply been “marketed to death,” and so far, no one has found a “fix,” but to call us “Apathetic,” and increase efforts ten-fold to ensure that Generations Y and Generations Z _ARE_ “Product- Addicted-Consumers,” mostly by manipulating them on the Internet, but that is another story.

Though _CONVERSION_ is certainly NOT MARKETING, we are asking for almost NOTHING, and we are actually offering EVERYTHING; but to me and mine every ATTEMPT BY THE CHURCH to “CONVERT” _smells_ like plain old ADVERTIZING to us, and so we tend to avoid it like the Plague.

So the pretty simple Question before us becomes: “How do we bring Conversion to these groups of Young People, who view ANY ATTEMPT AT ALL TO INTERACT WITH THEM IN ANY WAY AS MANIPULATION FOR NEFARIOUS PURPOSES (“mind control” being a popular phrase)???”

This is a much bigger question than can be addressed by this simple letter at this point in time, though I do have a few simple suggestions for starters. First, there is another fellowship with a motto of “ATTRACTION RATHER THAN PROMOTION,” emphasizing that the BEHAVIOR OF ITS’ MEMBERS should speak for itself, and thus be ATTRACTIVE. This method has been enormously effective, for almost 100 years, with that particular Fellowship, as well as many spin-off groups.

As _CHRISTIANS_ one would think that this method would be *IDEAL* for us… But sadly, in my own singular experience only; there are many more Parishioners _Claiming_ Christianity than there are actually PRACTICING it. Contrarily, there are many who personify Christ’s Teachings and Love admirably, but will not call themselves “Christian” or especially not “Catholic!” Why is this? That should be a question for serious meditation itself.

Secondly is that The Young today, in America at least, are in dire need of Parental Guidance and Leadership. With the rate of Divorces skyrocketing and so many broken homes; The Young need Strong Adult Guidance and The Catholic Church is in a *PERFECT* position to step up and assume this role. Teaching today’s youths the Morals and Truths they will need to Survive as an Adult and not become a Criminal. What’s keeping these youths from coming to Mother Church, coming to receive the Love and Direction they so badly need, yet cannot find anywhere else? Well, why _should_ they come to us, I ask you? How are We Publicly acting ANY different to those youths than the Police, The Courts, Bad Parents, Organized Criminals, etc who have already hurt them so badly? How are we acting? Yes, the Soup Kitchens and Homeless Shelters we run are fundamental aids to societies downtrodden, but they are salves that come far too late, most often. By the time a person has been so humiliated by their lives that they are willing to even eat in a “Soup Kitchen,” it’s sometimes too late to really help them at all. The Ideal for us, as Evangelists, is to reach people while they are _YOUNG_, while they still have a chance to make the most of themselves. Yes, Jesus came “for the least of us,” but that doesn’t mean we ignore the others, right? To me, we appear to youths to be acting THE SAME AS ARMY RECRUITERS. Telling them what to do, what is right, what is wrong, trying to CONTROL THEIR LIVES, telling them what to believe (rather than just making suggestions and letting them come to their OWN CONCLUSIONS); If I were a confused young person today I would see NOTHING attractive about the Catholic Church at all! Lucky for me, I’m not so young any more… The Young People of today are *BRILLIANT*, *SUPER-EDUCATED*, *WILLFULL*, and more. The same old:

1: “We can save you from hell.” – Many don’t believe in Hell, feel they are already in it, or just don’t care about death.

2:”You need a Savior, we have the only one, you gotta be with us!:” – many of these kids “role-models” turned out to either be blatantly Abusive, or sadly Human (as ALL OUR HUMAN HEROES ultimately turn out to be, right? Because we are all sinners). They do not see any need for a “Savior” of any kind, so this may fall on deaf ears.

3: “Don’t you feel like a dirty Sinner inside? It’s because you are! Come to us and we’ll fix ya right up, and hey, we are the ONLY ones who can…” – Kinda strong-arm this one, neh? Any type of MANIPULATION is a direct turn-off.

4: “Aren’t you terrified of dying?! (Well Duh, EVERYONE IS, practically) Well, we are the ONLY ONES who can make sure you have a GOOD TIME AFTER YOU DIE. Otherwise, it’s gonna be real, real, bad for you. FOREVER.” – Again, rather manipulative, and honestly many of these kids ARE NOT SCARED OF DEATH AT ALL! They worship or seek it, as misguided as that is. And being WELL-EDUCATED, they have probably read all the studies of “Near-Death Experiences” and formed very COMPLEX belief systems surrounding their post-death world and a Catholic Converter who speaks to such a youngster as if they have never before thought about death and they are “beginners” on the Theology of the matter, will only be INSULTING their youth. Again, listening to their ideas first can be very educational.

5: “Christ died FOR YOU! You must be some kind of Schmuck to let God’s ONLY SON DIE, on a CROSS no less, die tortured just for you, and now, what, you don’t give a dang? You must feel GUILTY if you don’t kiss his butt! I mean He DIED FOR YOU, ya ungrateful jerk.” – Just wrong, but I’ve heard it. They get enough Codependent Manipulation like this at home; they don’t need it from us.

6: “We are the Power of Good. We are the ONLY POWER OF GOOD. If you wish to fight Evil, or simply be on the side of GOOD; we are your ONLY CHOICE.” – I like this one, personally, but a bit too Star Wars to actually work. That purple-haired, nose-ringed, tattooed girl you are talking to may actually have a Graduate Degree in “Semiotics,” or “Philosophy,” or some such and spent more time than you can even imagine thinking about what “Good” and “Evil” actually mean. May even have read many Popes and Saints on the subject, and just to make this interesting, perhaps she had an Abortion when she was younger, so she has faced a LOT of HATE from what she views as Catholicism… This is a tough customer, but if she is even talking to you at all, it’s a good sign, but being open to LISTENING to her more than talking is key. She has “The Inquisition” and every other reason why we are “Evil,” So this argument must be used on the basis of FAITH and the CURRENT STATE OF THE CHURCH, not “Facts” or “History.” Still, it remains one of _MY_ personal favorite reasons that I’m a Catholic =D

7: “Aren’t you sick and tired of feeling guilty, feeling that you are worthless? Don’t you want to know _Why_ it is that you feel deep down inside that there is something _Wrong_ with you? Why you sometimes do bad things, things you know you shouldn’t do? Don’t you want to be FREE of all the Burdens of Guilt and Pain? We can show you the way! The reason you feel like that is called ‘Original Sin’ and all Humans have it, but through Jesus Christ you can be saved! He can FREE YOU of all your Guilt and Sin, because that is what he was sent to do!” – I have to admit this is more attractive the older I get, because who doesn’t want to be free of their _Conscience_ sometimes, right? But the kids of today are actually TOO RESPONSIBLE to be attracted to this concept. First, they do not feel any “inherent guilt,’ or if they did they had buried it long ago. Second, they believe in personal responsibility. They don’t think it’s _Right_ that some bearded guy should get crucified for what they do and they don’t even want to think about it. Finally, that was 2000 years ago, right? So just LOGICALLY, how could Jesus have “died for _Their_ Sins.” Even if he did, how could he do that and ALSO die for each and everyone elses? See what I mean, Converters? When you really get into this pitch it becomes like a Graduate Course in Seminary. Best to keep it simple, keep it about you and your experience, speak from your heart and not your brain, because these kids’ brains are getting weirder every day! ;)

You get the Idea, I’m sure.

The Techniques which I am theoretical suggesting may be outmoded have the benefit of being very Basic Arguments, which have been very successful for a long, long time, because they all speak to the very Heart of most of Humankinds deepest INSTINCTS.

However, the YOUTHS of today have been so Inundated with Commercial Manipulation like this, because it was stolen/used by the Mighty Corporate Marketing Machine of the 1950’s – Present for MARKETING ON TV/RADIO/WEB, that NONE OF THE REASONS FROM # 1- 7 MEAN ANYTHING TO YOUTHS AT ALL ANY MORE. They all appear to be “Typical Marketing Come-Ons” that fall off of them like water from a ducks back, no matter how TRUE they actually may be.

That is one of the major reasons, in my opinion, that church numbers (like Freemasonry numbers) have been consistently FALLING. The NEW MAN, with the Internet at his Fingertips, has ALL THE INFORMATION in the World at his fingertips and not a single drop of FAITH or SOUL equally available. For that he is COMPLETELY DEPENDANT ON OTHERS, like the Catholic Church. Whether others can see it or not, I see this as a time when the world needs the Church possible more than ever before, and if it acts ideally, could make a tremendous “come-back,” strictly in terms of Converts. So that is my “Bad News.” The “Good News” is that there _ARE_ many viable and working ways to reach the younger Generations, many of which I have tried to mention, which I believe will help bring younger people into the Fold… But it does sometimes take a HUGE REORIENTATION to the way that many long-time “Converters” see their role, as Catholic Evangelists, a new understanding of just what their job is.

I would greatly enjoy to hear the thoughts of a Priest or some other Office Holder in St. Boniface (as it is _my_ beloved Parish, who inspired me to type out these thoughts, for the Parish Lenten Day of Retreat), or any Catholic Conversion Volunteer for that matter.

In Summary; My, advice, as a “Kool & K-Rad younger Catholic person,” is this.

1. First and foremost try to LISTEN to a potential Candidate. They usually have a LOT to say, before they can be ready to listen to ANYTHING you may have to say. “A full cup cannot be filled; it must be emptied first.” – So many times, if we find someone willing to listen to us, we are so thrilled we begin evangelizing right off – this is not always the wisest course. They also, sadly, sometimes have a lot of RESENTMENTS against the church and only by LISTENING TO THEM FIRST, without reacting or DEFENDING in any way, can we come to a point where they are ready to LISTEN, and we have done them a service by listening to their troubles. By LISTENING FIRST, we open ourselves to the possibility that the Holy Spirit may inspire us to say something to that person SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM, something we never would have said if we had just “launched into our conversion script.” Spending our Primary energy on LISTENING, not only can make us more effective Converters, but also pays homage to the Sacred Catholic Act of “CONFESSION” and as such can be giving the listener a Taste of what Catholic Life can be like. This leads nicely to suggestion two…

2. Whenever possible: TEACH BY DOING, NOT BY TALKING. As Human Mammals we learn first and we learn best by WATCHING OTHER HUMAN ROLE-MODELS. First our parents, then others, often our Spouses (which is why some married couples tend to become more and more like each other as years pass). Rightly or Wrongly Catholic Conversion is WIDELY STIGMATIZED as Catholic people TALKING _AT_ YOU. Which is the last Public Relations image we want for ourselves, right? That’s certainly not very attractive and kept yours truly AWAY FROM THE CHURCH for many years. The only way I know of to change this Stereotype is if we begin to LISTEN more than TALK. And when we talk, talk about OUR LIVES, OUR FAMILIES; To PROVE CATHOLICISM WORKS does not need to be about Bible this and scripture that, though it is nice we have those things as back up. Modern Youth are just not that Shallow (or perhaps “Deep” others may argue). If they are going to decide to become Catholics, or even toy with the idea, they need to see that it’s not just ALL SURFACE LIES. They need to see that BENEATH THE SURFACE are happy people, living happy lives, BECAUSE OF CATHOLICISM. If they need scripture; they can find it a million ways. But how many opportunities do these people get TO MEET A REAL PRACTICING CHRISTIAN…? Probably not that many. Because if you are the type of Christian who is Evangelizing, than you are probably very dedicated to what you do and are thus a GOOD CHRISTIAN. This leads me to suggestion #3…

3. LET THEM LEAD: Once a rapport has started, rather than leading the conversation (a natural turn off for them), let them lead the Conversation! You will be amazed at some of the Insightful and Godly question that youngsters may ask you, and never be afraid to say “I DON’T KNOW!” – They hate liars worse than anything! Don’t force the Bible on them, but IF THEY ASK to see a certain verse you quote in answer to a question or “Prophetic Proofs”, and then bring out the Bible. Once it’s out, DO NOT ASSUME they need/want to see more, ASK THEM, and do not be disappointed if one Psalm is enough; To them it may be all they can digest at the time! If you let them lead, they will leave with a much better feeling, not that they were just “talked at,” but that they had a Genuine “INTERACTION,” and with luck, a Godly One.

4. LET THEM KNOW THERE IS VARIETY IN CATHOLICISM: One of the biggest turn-off misconceptions I find about youngsters and Catholicism is that they think ALL CATHOLICS ARE THE SAME. The last thing any youngster wants is “to be the same” as ANYTHING, right? Let them know that there are TONS of Catholic Churches in the Bay Area, ALL OF THEM DIFFERENT, different Emphasis, different Saints, Languages, etc, etc. INDEPENDENCE and UNIQUENESS are VITAL to youths. They need to know that Catholicism is/has changed so much, and is so DIVERSE ITSELF these days, that they can still be UNIQUE as Catholics and maybe MORE SO _because_ of their Catholicism.

5. There are many more than this, in the end it’s how God Inspires you, and every Interaction is Different. Thank you for listening to my idea’s, but they are just that; Idea’s. I have yet to be a Converter myself, so I can’t know how it is “in the field,” but I have worked with a lot of Youth, especially “At-Risk” One’s, so I Pray my suggestions are Helpful to you this Lent. Please UNDERSTAND, my _Capitalization_ is not “yelling,” as the Internet suggest, but just my way of adding Emphasis. I’m experimenting with _New_ Grammar=D Have a great Lent and Evangelizing season everyone! Thank you for reading, my prayers are with you, God bless you all!

Yours Very Truly,

Name Redacted Phone Redacted (no text capabilities, but voicemails/calls encouraged) Avery.kates@gmail.com (rarely checked, e-mails DISCOURAGED except in cases of large Documents, etc)

Thoughts: Welcome to The 21st Century Illuminati Upper Classes & Returning Immortal Elders

Illuminati State of Teh Gnu World Odor 2015, with a Brief Introduction & History

The 13th Century Holy, Celibate, Christian, Order known wisely today (Thank You "Dan Brown" and all the success of your "Masonic Templar Conspiracy" Thrillers !!)as The Knights Templar, were the first Global Power _Evar_ to establish a solid International Banking Consortium.

Having established their Temples and Buildings in almost every "Civilized" known country on Medieval Earth, having the largest force of Experienced (Due to the "Holy Crusade" wars in the Middle East at the time)Armed Soldiers available for hire (to protect travellers with their wealth) who were otherwise uncommitted to _Any_ Ruler/King/Power on Earth (Besides the Pope, initially). The Templars were the only force on earth capable of protecting large amounts of valuables (usually gold, silver, jewels, etc)in transit; Protecting it from Pirates, Brigands, etc.

The Templars-turned-International-Bankers figured out fairly quickly that they did not actually _need_ to "escort" things like _Gold_ around at all! Having wealthy established places everywhere; All a person who was moving needed to do was go to a Templar Bank and "Deposit" an Amount of Gold. The Templar Banker would "Translate/Cypher/Encode" the _Amount" of Gold into a One-Time-Pad-Like-System. The Depositor then takes this "Sigil (often these codes looked like elaborate Magickal Sigils, learned from the Arabic Muslim "Word Art" of the Middle East Cultures)" to _Any_ other Templar Bank, who would then be able to "Decode" it and Give the person however much the _C0de_ indicated the Client had originally deposited. These "Paper Slips Worth Gold" were the First "Paper Currency."

Now is where the real Tricks (and High Crimes!) Begin! These First, "Pioneer Bankers" learned the basic Economic Law which what all Bankers today still use: Once International Banking has been firmly established - people _Stop_ coming to the bank to get their Gold and just start trading the pieces of paper with each other!!<> Can you see what this means yet? Don't feel bad, _Most_ people didn't see it then, nor do they even see it now (though it is firmly in the realm of "Economic Facts of Banking," now)...

...What this means is this: If people are Not collecting their Gold any more, then who actually /knows how much gold is even in the bank at all?! Thus, they slowly began issuing more "Currency Notes" than there was actual _Gold_ in their Bank. This is the central (and /ONLY/, really)cause of "Inflation," the "phenomenon" where the Paper Currency in your Pocket is quite suddenly (and for no apparent or clear reason to the vast numbers of "Teh Public")/WORTH LESS/ than it did just yesterday? Why is this? How could this possibly make any sense?? That's why. Because a Bank issued more money than it actually had; that's why. Essentially _Counterfeiting_, but because _They_ are the "Money Authority" - there is/was no one to prosecute/investigate them! Hah! What a fucking /BRILLIANT/ racket, eh?

Today the Racket has gotten so complicated (the better to /F00L/ a more Edumacated Public, with greater access to Information) that there are silly rules like "Banks may issue exactly 90% more Currency than they actually have." Because _Now_, with Credit, Debit, Interwebs, and Yadda; People often don't even come for Teh _Money_ any more!

Back to History: So things are going *GREAT* for the Knights Templar Holy Warrior Bankers for a time... Meanwhile England and France are fighting a terribly expensive war, plunging _BOTH_ their Economies into terrible _Debt_, as Governments just *LOVE* to do, and to continue to Fuel their wars, /BOTH/ Countries begin to borrow a _Lot_ of Money from the Templar Bankers, who being True Illuminati, reveled in having their hands up the Butt of two waring Governments. As Proud as any modern Arms Dealer, I'm sure.

What they had not planned or counted on was that King Phillip of France and King Stephen of England would come to a _Secret_ Agreement: "Since they both owed the Templar Bankers Money, and since the Templars were so rich anyways, and didn't pay taxes... why not manipulate to get a Pope into position to have them all declared "Satanists" or "Homosexuals" or whatever? That way, both countries debts are /CANCELLED/ and on top of _That_, both Governments get to "Confiscate" all the Templar _Goodies_ in their Boundaries (meaning *lots* of gold, loot, property, Yadda)?!"

And so they did. Pope Urban declared them every Evil thing in the book (though they were, in point of Historical Fact, the /ONLY/ truely "Good" and "Holy" Knights - such as those so often portrayed in the Cinema today. The vast majority of "Knights" during the Midevil ages were Raping, Pillaging, _MONSTERS_, of men. The Knights Templar were not only _SERIOUSLY_ Christian Monks, but... (to be continued...)

WTF?! NEW BLOG POST GETS 4 HITS in FIRST 20 MINS!

Site Update: Unprecidented attention hyopthetically blamed on Adrian Lamo... or possibly the large number of google searches on "tai-Chi???"

Music That Never Gets Old: "You are what you is," from the album "Frankly Acapella," by "The Persuassions."

"You are what you is," from the album "Frankly Acapella," by "The Persuasions."

This song, and the entire album (thus the "_Frank_" in "Frankly Acapella" Title)is a Tribute to and Cover of Frank Zappa Songs, by The Persuasions , an incredibly talented, all African-American, Acapella-only group.

I'm not a Racist. But, Frank Zappa music is widely believed to be the sole confine of White Nerds. These four Gentlemen prove differently; Zappa is loved by all the peoples of the world =D

You Are What You Is, by The Persuasions

or You Are What You Is, by The Persuasions

YOUTUBE WILL NOT EXIST, NOR CONTINUE TO CONTAIN ALL THE KOOL MUSIC IN EXISTANCE: SO, IF YOU TRUELY LOVE MUSIC, GO OUT AND BUY A COPY OF THEIR ALBUM, OR LEARN HOW TO HAXOR YOUTUBE VIDEO'S & BACKUP, BACKUP, BACKUP!

Theory: 13 ways to _STAY HIGH_, when you _GET HIGH_ ; A Guide For the Truly Desperate Junkie…

13 ways to _STAY HIGH_, when you GET HIGH , for the Truly Desperate Junkie…

(Mostly “discovered” while kicking Diacetyl-Morphine-HCL in jails, but these really work… they are not the way to get “The Best High,” nor ways to “Get the Highest.” They are all simply suggestions based on experience for ways to keep drugs in the Human System as long as possible) 1. Do not eat anything and drink minimal water.

2. Do not sleep. This is true for several reasons. Firstly the brain does a “Cleansing Cycle” while asleep that we do not desire, here. Secondly, when we *skip* that Cycle, all types of toxins build up in the brain, and many of them mimic certain recreational drugs. Thus Sleep Deprivation works. Usually this is not a concern during Opiate, Alcohol, and Benzodiazepine Withdrawal, as Sleep is not an option anyways. (*WARNING* this one can quickly lead to /BAD JUDGEMENT/)

3. Freeze Motherfucker! (Means: Do not move your body more than strictly necessary because it spends Calories and anything that spends Calories=”Detoxing”=”No, thanks!”; ideally stay laying on your back.

4. Limit Sweating: it’s sweating out your drugs, d00d!

5. Freeze Motherfucker! Yes, _again_!(Means: Keep it COLD! Heat causes your body processes to _Act Faster_ = Detoxing = No Thanks!)

6. Don’t Poop or Pee, no really! I don’t actually know any Doctors who agree with me on this one, and most people don’t have the discipline for it anyhow (especially as Opiate and Alcohol Withdrawal often come with uncontrollable “Hershey squirts.”) – But I swear that it works for me. My belief is that by stopping these processes I’m further letting my body know it’s time to “shut down.”

Summary: All these basically point to the same thing, mainly; S-L-O-W-I-N-G down all the body’s natural processes as much as possible. What this means is that your actual Detox/Withdrawal Symptoms, though being /QUALITATIVLY/ less physically painful than others, will /QUANTITATIVELY/ last longer. So it’s rather a Devil’s Bargain. Yes, less pain, but longer pain. The choice is yours.

Though I /DO NOT/ actually _recommend_ these suggestions, per se. In the best situation, with plenty of food and water and freedom to exercise and Coffee and Television – It’s best to Detox as _QUICKLY_ as humanly possible = the exact OPPOSITE of all these suggestions… However, in the event that time doesn’t really matter and resources are limited; You may agree with me (though I pray you will never have to) that a “slow burn” can be very comforting.

Thoughts: College Departments which Tai Chi Chuan Fit Into

College Departments which Tai Chi Chuan Fit Into

1. ANTH - Anthropology, specifically Chinese Cultural Anthropology. I understand that describing a genuine Tai Chi Class, with an Authentic, Auspicious, and Honorable Lineage, as “A Study of the Ancient Chinese Art of Tai Chi,” may be distasteful to Garrett, Maureen, Paul, and other genuine Tai Chi Instructors, though I honestly do not find this description to be dishonest or misdirecting in any way; The only real way to study Tai Chi, Academically, (writing as a “one-credit-short” Cultural Anthropologist) is by learning Tai Chi using Traditional Chinese Methods first, and only then begin to study Tai Chi’s possible Cultural effects on Chinese Society and History in a Broader Sense. Radiating outward from the practices of individual groups, continuing through the Enculturation effects each Ancient Tai-Chi School had on each other (and thus Chinese society as a whole). The only serious way to study both the changes as they now stand, and their differences with origins in history is by beginning a study of the practice as it Currently exists. Though not all Academics with a Specialization in “Asian Culture” will be attracted to intensive classes like these, there is no question that anyone who completes even a “Beginners’ Tai Chi Class” at a Community College has a serious Academic advantage over those who do not … but as I understand this situation the “Community College Accreditation Board,” or whomever, is trying to use “Semantics,” to stop Tai Chi Instruction (aka “Lawyering”) in California Community Colleges, thus why not use the same tactics? In the end, is not Tai Chi being taught what really matters? people will always be attracted to it regardless of whether it’s Officially Listed as “helping with Balance” or “a study in how Chinese deal with balance in their elderly.”

2. HIST – History, Chinese History Specifically. History, as a “Social Science,” is a very close relative to Anthropology and thus the same arguments I use for Anthropology apply here too.

3. PHYS – Physical Education, along with Yoga, Boxing, and other simply Physically Healthy Classes; Tai Chi Chuan as a Marital Art cannot be ignored.

4. DNC – Dancing, Chinese (why not?)

5. Consciousness Studies (? – Check Catalog)

*Naturally I recommend that my theses be passed by someone in the Social Sciences Department, but I seriously doubt that you will have any trouble.

Hypothesis & Experiments in the 4th Dimension

Hypothesis: There are "4th Dimensional Consciousness/Entities." Much as we Earth-Beings appear to all our "Science" ("Physics" essentially, in this case) as "3rd Dimensional Consciousness/Entities" who are "moving/traveling" through the 4th Dimension of "/Time/" - who ourselves have discovered sorts of "2-Dimensional Beings" (like Amoeba's, Parmacia, Virisii, and many would argue "Demons" and even the living "Ghosts" of Humans ho came before... Essentially, if one applies Scientific Analysis to the Judeo, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, Native & Indigemous Beleifs found in all Holy Books and Oral Traditions from Cultures around the entire Planet Earth; The Same Deduction is Obvious.

That _If_ there _are_ to be any _Higher_ Order of Beings than Humans in this Multi-Verse; They Must be "4th Dimensional Beings." And what would be the Qualities which _Define_ a 4-D Being? Unlike _Us_, they would not be moving _through_ time; To them /EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY HAPPENED/ &/or could be said to be /HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE/...

...Just try to take a moment, take a few deep breaths, and try to take that ginormous concept in. Because everything we "know" tells us that the "future is unwritten" and that "anything can happen." Not so to a 4-D Being. To "It," the future has already happened... This equals what Physicists like to call a "5-Dimensional Superstructure," but we are not quite there yet, my dear fellow Theoretical and Philosophical Daydreamers.

Our 4-D Beings, being "Above our Time" - yet _below_ the 5th Dimension (aka "Eternity") - basically fit the classic description of JUDEO-CHRISTIAN-MUSLIM ANGELS, ARCH-ANGELS, some JINH, many African Diaspora ORISHA, LOA, & PALO Spirits, many "lesser" PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES, some ELEVATED ANCESTORS, Huna's AUMAKUA/POE AUMAKUA, Theosophist's HIDDEN MASTERS, Uncle Al's Argentum Astrum (Crowley,A:.A:.), etc.

Being 4-D would mean that these beings could easily see a person's future and even date and time of death. Being "Above" our 3-D world they could easily see through walls, Teleport, Read Minds... Appear to do just about *ANYTHING* to us. Just one of these beings on an "Angry Rampage" against Humanity would be an incredible Catastrophy (as some Holy Books tell tales of happening in our Ancient History...). Happily, both our most Ancient Holy Books and the Mathemagical Equations of Magus Albert Einstein point towards the "Law of Nature" and that these Powerful 4-D Beings are just as bound by it as the "Mighty" Planets of Saturn and Jupiter and Bound by Gravity and the Space/Time Continuum.

The Judeo-Chrisitan-Muslim Bible explains this by saying that "Angels were not created with _FREE WILL_, as Us Humans were" (So they are more like Huge Insect Janitors or some such, i guess, forces of Nature?)... ...Except for those who _did_ have "Free Will" (never explained) and exercised it by Mutiny, to become the "Evil Demons _Below_ (...inferring 2-D, perhaps?),"forever jelous of the 3-D Human "Above" them, yet still below the 4-D Angels. Cross Refferencing the "Demonic Data" with more Judeo Books as well as the Holy Koran garners the possible Information that _NOT all_ "Demons (from the Ancient Greek "Daimonos" meaning only "Cosciousness") or "Jinh" (The Koranic Term for Disembodied Powerful Natural Intelligences "made of Fire and Air") _are_, in fact, /EVIL/... ...Some are simply Neutral and a few are even 'Good," wishing only the best for Us Humans. Strange, I know, but I didn't write it... At least, I don't think so...

12th-15th Century Documents from reportedly Organized Ceremonial Magicians of Europe cite their /DATA/(Most notably the Books: "The Goetia of King Solomon [all 5 Volumes, including the Notable "lesser" and "Greater" Keys"] publication often by Uncle Al (Crowley), The "Picatrix," "Collected Works of Cornellius Aggrippa," "The Magus" by Francis Barrett, The "Grand Grimoire," and "Grimorium Verum," and others, all confirm this bizairre *TWIST*; that perhaps _NOT_ all "demons" are "Bad..." But That's for another day!!

Back to my point in hand, have you not already gotten bored or lost it, as well as Uncle Al's Hypothesis stated about 200 years before its' time in his novel-based- on-reality "Moonchild." In this the character "Simon Iff" explains early on to a Neophite how "God" and It's Forces are clearly 4-Dimensional in Nature, and thus how this knowledge helps us to learn how to better *IDENTIFY*, *COMMUNICATE*, and ideally *WORK* with It. Who wouldn't want a 4-D Pal to push things in their favor, eh? With these thoughts in mind ( and I highly recommend that every sincere Knowledge-Seeker read the "Moonchild" chapter with the 4-D Discussion in it ) I present you, my dear readers, with my first two *EXPERIMENTS IN THE 4TH DIMENSION* - which _anyone_ can try! ;]

This first Experiment is very simple to perform and I guarentee that you will receive results within one Moon-Cycle of starting this...HOWEVER: I actually DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS PRACTICE TO ANYONE AT ALL. I performed it for far, far longer than 30 days because the *RESULTS* I garnered were so intense that I did not want to break the Experiment for any reason. Finally it simply came down to my sanity; Either I continued and lost my mind or I stopped. So I stopped, and eventually recovered and processed my data. Here is all I did...

By examining the /action/ of the Smoke, Water, Planet Earth, Earth's Moon, Earth's cycle's around the Sun, the Sun's cycle's around the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, and the Milky Ways Galaxy cycle around the Giant Black Hole Cluster in the middle of the Virgo Constellation... all started to suggest to me that /CIRCLES/ are very important to "The Universe" (and indeed Traditional Witchcraft and Ceremonial Magick AGREE). Metaphysical Theory suggests that "Clockwise" /INVOKES/ (Attracts, brings in, Invites), while "Counter-Clockwise" /BANISHES/ (Sends Away, Cleans).

4-D THEORY & EXPERIMENT #1: If I only walk in /CLOCKWISE/ circles, the _LARGER_ the better; It WILL ATTRACT 4-D "Notice."

NOTES: This is not at all as hard as it may sound, if you do not drive very much, as I do, though public transportation can take some advanced planning. If one reaches an "odd corner," where one is _almost_ forced to go "Counter" all one needs do is turn a few clock-wise circles in place, until facing the desired direction. After a few weeks this can become second nature and barely requires thought. Also the pure fun of planning my entire day in the morning to create larger and larger Circles as I travel around was most unexpected.

RESULTS: I'd rather not say. Though I would really like to hear back from anyone who tries this. My results were nothing less than "mind-shattering." In the words of an old Magician I knew "Never, ever _Invoke_ without _Banishing_!" - This Experiment very much is in the Vein of just Invoking and Invoking and Invoking, without end; Good & Bad, come one, come all, only *KEEP IT COMING*! The _ONLY_ real reason to perform this experiment is _IF_ One really, really, insists on *PROOF* of Other Beings in the Universe. The time it takes to heal from this can be quite lengthy, and some people may not recover at all. With all that fun news I bring you Experiment #2...

4-D THEORY & EXPERIMENT (& Art!) #2: If we live in a Multi-Verse with "physical rules," where every action has an equal and opposite Reaction. A Reaction we cannot see or even Consciously Calculate because of Quantum Realities, the Butterfly Effect, etc... What would it look like, to an Observing 4-D Entity, if Everything which left my "Sphere" (i.e. "Trash," mostly)' Doubled, Tripled, Quadrupled, etc? /HOW/ ? Simple, my dear Watson! Say that I am throwing out a piece of used Paper. Before disposal I cut it exactly in half. Then cut those halves in half, then those, until it's the smallest Confetti... Mathemagically it is close to an "Exponential Increase" in the _NUMBER_ of _OBJECTS_ leaving my Sphere vs. the Single Object which it was when it entered - AND these Objects are all the same size !! It would be a wonderful /MYSTERY/, I must imagine, to a 4-D'er to see this single Sphere consistently turning "1's' into many, many "tiny 1's", repeatedly, for no clear reason, and consistently! Ha ha!

HYPOTHESIS: I will become very Wealthy because the balance of so much Output (+ garbage SPACE saved, by my Art) vs. so little Input must eventually be rectified by the Mechanical Laws of Nature.

NOTES: Though my wealth is doing Humbly & Happily well * this experiment is simply fun because it makes anyone trying to /INVESTIGATE/ me by looking in my trash find not but a bunch of Confetti, hahaha ;D

Good Luck & Do let me know if anyone has any other thoughts on "Impressing the Fourth Dimension"... except on "Tesseracts," please. Quite enough of that, thank you.

Thoughts: My Resume as a "Man of International Mystery"

(...at first I write this as simply a joke... but the more I imagined a real-world encounter with someone from... oh, I dunno, let's just say The Venezuelan Consulate or Military Intelligence, or a Venezuelan proprietary company for Venezuelan Intelligence; you get the idea. The more Realistic I've attempted to make this. For purely hypothetical and creative reasons only, of course...)

Resume

* Specialized Computer/Telephony/Social Security Skillset, related Contacts, Real-World Operational Experience, International Reputation.

* Happy with my Life as it is, I am forced to concede that to get a chance to "Test the Limit" of my Intellect/Skillz, perform meaningful work for Humanitarian and Philanthropic reasons with "3rd world" countries in South America and their affiliated "1st World" Sponsors like Venezuela, Brazil, Cuba, Columbia, etc (especially as these are all Countries and Cultures I've always held the deepest respect and regard for, all the more so because I was raised by a Nicaraguan Au Pair who first taught me to love the Spanish Language, gave me my first Cafe, and whom I have always loved in return), I've always held potential as a Teacher and the fact that the Cuban Government _RUNS WINDOWS_ is *PROOF* enough that for these South American Countries to have any real chance at all in the CYBER-REALITY of the 21st Century; They will need a Linux/Unix, Open-Source-based-Infrastructure, and the PEOPLE (read: Hax0rz) to make it happen. I mean seriously. Does _ANYONE_ in the audience not know that *all* Windows Varieties are the *Most* exploited/hacked Operating System on the face of the Planet? These Governments need people like me and they need us bad, because NSA pwns all their N3tw0rk5, y0!

* Extensive ground experience on both Coasts of Mexico and Cuba, with associates and family in Cuba, Nigeria, Columbia, Brazil, Mexico, and many other Countries with Shared Interests. Excellent References available upon Background Check.

* Zero "Ties" to the United States, besides my citizenship and Love of many parts and people of and in it; No Family, Close Friends, Lovers, etc, and Zero "Secrets!" This means, to Intelligence Professionals, that I have Zero "Personal-Life vulnerabilities" which an "Enemy" could potentially exploit (like, for example, if they held my father hostage and threatened to kill him if I didn't do _________; It wouldn't affect me at all. Just as it would not affect him. Neither of our deaths means a thing to the other. But this is exactly the sort of "Personal Leverage" that Professional Spies and Organized Criminals use to Blackmail a person into doing whatever they want all the time).

* Past (and almost certainly Present) "Personality" considered far too "Eccentric" for NSA, CIA, DARPA, Blackwater, MI-6 (https://www.sis.gov.uk/ - application denied by post 1997), France's DGSE Direction General of External Security (http://www.defense.gouv.fr/english/dgse - application denied by post 1997), Germany's BND Bundesnachrichtendienst(http://www.bnd.bund.de/DE/_Home/home_node.html - application denied by post 1997), Australia's ASIO (http://www.asio.gov.au/ - application denied by post 1997), the International Criminal Organization INTERPOL (http://www.interpol.int/ - application denied by post 1997), and probably even Entities like China's "Blue Army" (It's Mass of Cyber-Warlords), The Italian and even Mexican Organized Families (though I'm sure they'd talk me a good game and gladly use me as a Disposable Asset), the vast Proprietary-Shadow-Web-Corporation originally started by the CIA but now so *VAST* that it is, in actuality, very basically: All of Earth's Intelligence & Organized Criminal Organizations Combined into one Massive _CORPORATE_ (read:"Zero _Oversight_") Mega-Beast, Several Private Detectives... though the Police and Sheriff's will still hire me =D Ahahahaha. Not. Even. Kidding. Anyways, the Net Result of all this Creative Past of mine is that by all accounts I am certainly Insane. Therefor I should be able to do almost _Anything_ and it can just be considered another *erratic* event in a Lifetime of them! Can you say "Plausible Deniability?" So, who wants me first...?

* Few, if indeed _Any_, Potential "Vices" left. Those which are left are all legal, well known, and very manageable. Again for Intelligence this means another "Threat-Free Area," no way to Manipulate me there!

* Not motivated by Financial, Political, Hidden, or indeed _Any_ Agenda whatsoever, beyond finally being free to "stretch my wings" and see what I can do. In a Managerial and perhaps even PsyOps way, though the best use of my skills I will leave up to the Bidder with the best offer at the end of the Auction. Again, my lack of motive is a definite Strength, as it again lends me immutable to external Manipulations. If your Country or Company is chosen as the lucky winner of my services the only Payment expected is suitable room and board, a certain amount of "Artistic Freedom" in whatever Venture I'm Performing, a monthly stipend on par with the current wage of a basic Unix Systems Administrator in the United States (about $50k a year. Considering most of my work will be in a Consulting Capacity this rate is ridiculously low, but I present it here as proof of my Sincerity.

* All The World's Great Powers know that whereas the Past "Arms Race" was about "Which Country had the Most Atom Bombs," the Current "Arms Race" is which Country/Company has the _MOST BRAINS/HACKERS/INFORMATION/CYBER-POWER_. I've been a Player in the "Brain-Game" since before the Internet had Pictures and was studying Kevin Mitnick as his computer had a list containing my mother's Credit Card number (taken from the *brand new ISP* Netcom, which we subscribed to for picture-less Terminal Access). I was going to 2600 meetings in San Francisco from 1995-1998, aka "The Age that Heroes Were Born," and let me tell you Honey; I knew most of them. I've written for several Computer Security/Hacker Magazine's and have a reputation, as well as a Rolodex (in my _Head_, d0rk5 ;p). I've even got lines on the _Real News_, you know, the stuff almost _Nobody_ get's to know? What's that worth to ya? Anything?

...

Theory: The Naure of "Happiness/Joy." (A Quality vs. Quantity Scenario)

I have been asked too many times lately the "Semantically Useless" Question: "Are you _Happy_?"

Always the asker is attempting Sincerity, but fails to understand the broken premise of their now-obvious views on the Nature of this thing we call "Happiness."

I say this not just because I'm a jaded old woman, but because when I awnser them, as I always do, "Sometimes I am happy, other times not," and shrug as if to say "thus is he Nature of Life, Non Mon Amie?" ... But sometimes the Asker just looks at me blankly, as if I did not understand _Their_ question. Oh Irony, my greatest Investment. They try to rephrase," Are you happy right now, are you happy overall in your life, yadda, and etc???" Again I repeat my "Sometimes," often forced into explaining to them _My_ views on the subject that what he knows of "Happiness;" That It is a completely /TRANSITORY/ and 100% _QUALITATIVE_ Experience, essentially just another facet of Experiencing a 3-Dimensional Existence(1 Length & 2 Width & 3 Height, or 1 W-Axis & 2 X-Axis & 3 Y-Axis & being _Propelled_ in a 4-Dimensional Universe (Time, or Z-Axis)...

...To illustrate our "Happinness COnundrum" further; If I asked you "How _MANY_ Dollar Bills you Have?" You could easily count the /QUANITY/ of DOllar Bills you have and awnser me, "I have $20!" Then I ask you how You /FEEL/ about your Dollar, you could answer me "I feel very HAPPY, thank You!"

But when I ask you, "And how do you feel about the number 20?" You may be understandibly confused. Why? Because _20_ is a _NUMBER_, used purely for counting. In nd of itself it is Neutral, neither Good nor Bad; It just is. Then I can follow that question with:"And will You please count for me how many "HAPPINESSES" You currenlty have? Again you may be most naturally confused, because a QUALITY, like "Happiness," only comes in about 5 forms:

i. Most Happy EVER =D !!

ii. Very, Very Happy :)))

iii. Very Happy :))

iiii. Happy. :)

iiiii. Not Happy :(

Dr. Timothy Leary ellucidated on this Scientific Concept of Human Consciousness Studies and had great success in applying it to describing the "Potential States of Psychadelic Experience," (only he adds 6 Neutral, 7 Mildly Negative, 8 Very Negative, and 9 Nightmare/Hellish). I hope you hve at least seen a glimpse, from what I have presented to you so far, of how various "Quality vs. Quantity" Conflicts exist virtually everywhere in our Western society (The only one I have any great expreience studying as a Social Scientist), causing so end of Confusion over what is basically a "Semantic" Misunderstanding by both "Sides."

That point being cleared up i will proiceed with my main points in the form of a Fictional Human Being's Life and the Actions and Consequences it incurs by his always well-intentioned actions. We are now Proud to Present to You, our Loving Audience & Codependants: "The Life of Joe..."

Like all people in this world; Joe wanted nothing more than to "be happy" and to "live a happy life." He was assurred by everything he saws on TV, The Movies, The Interwebs, and all that he heard on the FM, AM, Interweb, & Satellite Radios that "Being Happy most of the time" was entirely possible, and worse, it was being done by almost _EVERYONE_ around him and Joe was just one of those very few "unfortunates," he'd heard called, who were destined to always be poor and lonely and always searching for happiness.

Unlucky with love, his first attempt at "finding happiness" came in 6th grade when he smoked his very first Tobacco Cigarrette with few friends behind the school. That 1 Cig "made" Joe /FEEL/ so "Happy," that his Left-Brain (The part of Human Beings responsible for making sure that "Everything That Ever Happens _MAKES SENSE_, has some "Reason" attached to it; This means it LIES A LOT, but most humans never notice and just learn to live by lieing to themselves /shrug) tried very hard to discover where that "Hppiness" came from. It decided the small /QUANTITY/ of Tobacco had "made" Joe Happy, so Joe should take a _Small Dose_ daily, perhaps a few times a day, to "KEEP HIM HAPPY..."

As time passes Joe's body begins to build up a _Tolerance_ to Tobacco which neccecitates him smoking more and more _Quantities_, just to get the same small "Happiness" he once got from just a little. Does his brain tell him to quit? Hell no. Why? Elementary; Brain & Body are intimately connected. Once the Body is Addicted, so is the Brain, & Joe's brain is now becoming his subtle "Enemy," as it begins even in 6th grade to learn how to "Fool Joe's Conscious Mind & Emotions" into using more Tobacco, by any means necessary. Usually through the process of making Joe feel worse and worse until he is /FORCED/ to turn elsewhere for "Happiness."

So Joe learns about Methamphetamine and the same story plays out, except now he is already a tobacco addict, already is dedicating large portions of his income to it, so it may already be causing Joe more _SADNESS than HAPPINESS_.

Next is Booze; Same story again. People say that "Insanity is doing the same thing again and expecting different results." Sounds good, except i have NEVER met a single human who does not display this odd behavior, in one form or another.

So that's drugs, but let's do a "Normie." They turn not to Cigz, but to SEX or "LOVE." That's "_Natural_," right? Everybody does it and all that? Yet there too we see the exact same story as Joe's first trip with Tobacco. "LOVE ADDICTION" and "CODEPEDENCE" are some of the most widely spred and least discussed Psychological Diseases on the face of the Western World. People "Scared to be alone," so they put up with abysmal behavior from "Partners." People who never learned it's okay to LOVE THEMSELVES or that they have the POWER to MAKE THMSELVES FEEL WHOLE... So they comb the earth looking for that "person who will make them feel whole." A person who will "love them," because they can't/don't love themselves, and usually the partner is the same. 2 "Half-People," imaging that together they make "1 Happy Person."

But a Miserable Marriage? Why that has far less "Happinness" than many Full Time Drug Addictions, Hah! Other ways people "seek Happiness;" Work, Hobbies, Children, Religion, Doctors, Charity, Art, yadda, etc.

My "Theory of Happiness" is simply that It is a _TRANSITORY_ and _Independent_ COnsciousness, which moves as it wills.... to be continued...

Happy Birthday to Me =D !! Reflections on an Unperfect Upbringing...

Warning: I write this in Celebration of my 37th Birthday yesterday :) !! Not as a "Fuck You" to my folks ( as my Da will surely think it is ), nor as a "Judgemental and Deliberately Hurtful & Unfair Insult" that my Ma will most probably see... This is simply the Reflections & Revelations I've had lately concerning my youth & I publish it here simply as a "Precautionary Tale" to all Breeders. All characters in these thoughts have long been forgiven and I love them very much. That being said; On with the Show!

The Greatest *FAILURES* of my Parents'

I. The very first thing in this entire world that interested me was the Solar System, most particularly the planet Saturn with it's amazingly unique rings, and this lead me to my first childhood dream of being an Astronaut.

I can remember countless years where what I dreamed of *most* in the World was to go to "NASA's Space Camp" for a Summer. Could my parent's afford this exclusive camp? Easily. Where my grades and intelligence "up to snuff?" Absolutely. Had I actually gone to Space Camp &/or had my parents actually taken any interest at all in the fact that I was intricately interested in being an Astronaut; I would have discovered quite young that to be an Astronaut was no simple thing. It takes years of physical training (something I never became interested in until my mid-20's), The best grades, schools, contacts, understanding of Physics (always a favorite of mine) and Math (never my best subject)... In short, the *REALITY* of what it takes to be an Astronaut is so different that what my baby-mind conceived it took (never being corrected by my parents as to the difference; They just said "How cute! Little "Boo" wants to be an Astro-Not! Isn't that Adowable!), that had I been faced with it at such a young age it _MAY_ have given me the Motivation and Structure for how to lead my life... a Structure I *NEVER* received as a child, much to my detriment as a young adult.

II. The 2nd thing in this entire world which deeply *INTERESTED* me, an a young child, was the Ancient Egyptian Dynasty ruled over by King Tutankhamen, The Three main Pyramids of Giza, and everything about Mummification & Ancient Egyptian Religion.

No clear idea at all where this interest came from! No movies I saw or stories i had read to me had anything about Egypt, but there I was, in Kindergarden, checking out Library books just to look at pictures of King Tut and Mummies. With 20/20 Hindsight this clearly foretold my later devotion to the Academic Field of Anthropology, as well as a study of and appreciation for the Arabic Language as well as Hieroglyphics...

_Again_ did my parents take much notice of this? A little. But still, mostly just, "How cute!" or "How Strange!" As they laughed at their little child over their wineglasses at the dinner party we always seemed to be having. Did they explain to me how this absolute *PASSION* could be turned into a /CAREER/ later in life? Teach their only child about Archeology, Anthropology, Egyptology, Teaching & Research Careers? Did they help to turn this innate gift into anything *USEFUL* at all? Sadly, no.

III. For my K-8 School my parents tried something Novel, which I still appreciate to this day. They took me to 3 interviews; A non-nun mixed-gender Catholic school, a Casual Artsy "Rudolph Steiner" kind of school, & they took me to the Gender-Segregated Arch-Conservative Episcopalian Archdiocese of California's "Cathedral School" in a Gothic Cathedral on the top of San Francisco's Knob Hill, where students whore dress uniforms, where required to attend Mass 3 times a week before class, and has a heavily religious bent to their schedule of studies... Have you guessed which I chose? The Cathedral, of course, much to my parent's surprise (who would have much preferred the Steiner School, I imagine).

Well, this was really something indeed! My Da's Parent's are very serious Catholic's, Grampa even being a Knight of Columbus for many decades, so Da rebelled and is a Rabid Atheist of course. Ma's Folk are Relaxed Catholic's, who mingle freely with Protestants and other denominations, her Da even being a 32nd degree Scottish Rite Freemason. So she is much more an "Agnostic" Believer, happy to honor God wherever others are doing the same. Sadly, growing up, Da's Iron Fist tended to Rule the House, so "Religion/God/Spirituality" where _NOT_ topics we were encouraged to discuss.

Despite this religiously repressive environment I have always known/felt a deep and permanent connection to God/Goddess/Universal Consciousness, whatever you wish to describe it as. No matter how miserable I felt my childhood was; I never felt I was without God. One of his "little Miracles" was that I found an odd colored white audio cassette among my Ma's tapes, while rummaging around one day in my parent's stuff, as children are wont to do. This tape had a Silver Sticker on it and said something like "Terry Brooks" & "Energy Meditation."

Well, I used to have serious & chronic Insomnia in those days & it seemed there was so cure for it (except being so afraid of my Da's fists that I learned how to lay flat on my back for 8 hours and just pretend to sleep. My first "Yoga Discipline,"). This tape had Beethozen's "Bagatelle in C Minor" in the background while "Terry Brooks (I guess)" narrated an "Energy Meditation." She started with Grounding, eventually moving up to working with Chakras and how to destroy Negative Psychic Stuff. I never made it through side 2 without falling asleep. It was the only thing in the world which could do it & I listened to it ever night that I could, for many, many, years. Ma claimed she had "no idea how she got it" & that I was welcome to it...

...Did my 2 Parents make anything of the _FACTS_ that their tiny child was already Meditating Nightly and was deeply called to God? Did they try to discuss Religious Beliefs with me, potential Religious Lifestyles & Careers? Did they even give him a Bible? Of course not. It was just another funny anecdote for their Cocktail Parties. Why encourage something as "useless" as Religion?

In 4th Grade, School introduced our class to "Comparative Religions!" It may be the first exciting scholastic moment of my life. When our class visited the "Gold Mountain Sagely Buddhist Monastery" in China Town my young mind was blown. I knew the Buddha _COULD_ bring peace to my miserable, tormented, young life. I immediately spent my candy money on a mostly Chinese Book on Buddhism, much to the amusement of the Monk's there. Then I began to practice formal Buddhist Meditation. Did my parents even notice? Did they have any idea what it meant? Of course not. Just another "Odd Thing" about their "Odd Child." Nothing to encourage, mind you. Even though all our Modern Western Science Confirms that MEDITATION IN INCREDIBLY HEALTHY for not only the body, but the mind, emotions, and even Spirit. By this time I was well used to no support.

In 7th Grade I discovered "Psychic Horizons," a "Psychic Meditation" School which took the basics of sitting meditation, but added to it the exact sort of Effective Creative Visualization Technique's Employed by the "Terry Brooks" Audio Cassette of my young youth.

The staff of Psychic Horizons was stunned to say the least. They insisted on calling my Mother and having her come to an Introductory session, so she knew exactly the sort of thing her child was getting itself into. She agreed, as always, and signed a waivor or something. I continued to amaze them there, with my progress. I suppose they had never seen such a powerful Psychic so young, so self-motivated. They were *IMPRESSED* and quickly turned into a sort of family for me, always watching over me protectively and doting...

...Was my Ma _Impressed_ at being the youngest & brightest Psychic they had ever seen? Of course not. Da? Hah! I don't think he knows about that school, to this day! As always; No Respect & No Credit.

Next in the "Spiritual" category was when I began taking "Cerimonial Magick Classes" at Ancient Ways Occult Supply store in Oakland. I was by the the youngest student they had ever had there & I constantly amazed them too. They turned into my next Family & I even began attending O.T.O. Gnostic Masses & other events. Like Psychic Horizons before them, the O.T.O. insisted in my Ma attending a Gnostic Mass, to prove she knew what she was letting her 13 year old child participate in. The naked woman on the alter didn't bother her at all - though in all fairness I don't think she knew that when she ate the "Cake of Light" that the O.T.O. uses as a Communion Wafer, that she was eating the Semen & Sexual Fluids of the Naked Priestess and present Priest. But then, neither did I, yet. So she duly Signed a Waivor so that her young child could hang out with those Freaks of Nature, where I was again, possibly the youngest person to attend an O.T.O. Gnostic Mass since the 1920's. *AGAIN* taking apparently no notice at all that their child was Intensely Obsessed with Occult & Ritual matters of the most exotic sort. To them it was all just "childishness" &/or "a phase." They _Still_ could not see that God/Magick was my *LIFE* & that it always would be. But how could they? Being so inexperienced in Spiritual matters. Oh! I suppose they could have *LISTENED* to me and *LEARNED* from me (In fact my Ma _DID_ for a few years; I taught her Meditation & Tarot Cards and she was very happy with both until she just got lazy and stopped practicing...), but that would entail *RESPECTING* me as an actual *INDIVIDUAL* with a *LIFE/MIND/SOUL* of my Own, and that maybe, just maybe, I _might_ actually *KNOW* something they don't. And the idea that little 'ol _me_ could possibly know something my parents do not; Is still something their massive EGO's can just not stand for. Ce La Via. IV. When my 2nd dog died my parents decided to tell me by informing the Chaplain at my School. So there I was, surrounded by my 300 schoolmates, one fresh morning before school, and the chaplain says "We'd also like to pray for Huang's dog who died this morning..." I look to the seats reserved for parents and there are mine. Looking at me and nodding, the Bastards. While all my schoolmates are poking me and asking if it is true and I'm saying I don't know. Older kids trying to make me cry. Dick move folks. Cowardly & Dick Move. V. My Da the Architect finally had a building which was a _HUGE_ success, out by Candlestick park, and it was built next to two towers; A White One & A Black One. There was going to be a News Story about it and someone thought it would be "cute" if the "Architects Son" gave childish _Nicknames_ to those two buildings! Wouldn't that be cute! When Da told me that _I_ got to pick the names I was very, very, honored. I thought long & hard about what they should be named, but Da interrupted me, saying "Well, what do they look like? One's white & one is black, right?" Trying to lead me somewhere. "Chess Pieces," I guessed. "no!' He raged. "Like Darth Vadar & Luke Skywalker!" I liked the movies, but not enough to name buildings after them...

...The paper said I named them "Darth Vadar..."