Poem, I Have Tried

I have tried my best to smile
at those who only frown.

I have tried to soar the heavens
from deep within the ground.

I have tried to turn my life of lead
into the grace of gold.

I have spent the last of my young hopes
and now I'm not

But old.

Poem, Better Find Some Joy

I'll have to find some joy
in something
better find it soon.
To keep on living
in this vein
will turn me to a loon.

Anger, pain, and sweet remorse
fill me day to day.
The only goodness that I know
is writing down my say.

And though noone may ever read this,
still it helps me some.
For with my pen
I feel much stronger,
better than a gun.

Poem, Stuck

Sex isn't sexy any more,
I've lost my taste for booze.
Pot no longer appeals to me,
What else can I loose.

My back is getting worse
these days
I smoke two packs a day
Leavings not an option
and so
I'm forced
to stay.

The student loans will be owed soon
I'm living in a shelter
It seems to me
my whole damn life
is always
Helter skelter.

At least I can read,
at least I can write,
and sometimes
carry a tune.
And no matter
what the wait
at least
I'll be
dead soon.

I see now why
the old don't smile
with death and pain
ingrained.

I don't know how
the other's live
with killing
their own brain.