Story: The Homeless Cold

Getting sick always brings out the "Punative Universe" Neurosis in me. The obesession that I must have done something morally or spiritually incorrect recently and the effect of that behavior is my current viral infection, my illness, my cold.

Waking this morning I discovred that I had to pee, was very cold yet had a fever, dry mouth and throat, every part of my body was heavier, especially my head, and I was dumber. Despite the urge to pee and dry mouth i could not move from my sleeping bag. All will-power was gone from me. Summoning just enough to take my morning methadone and Ibuprofin, finally to pee, then down I lay again. No doubt about it: I was sick. Sick and Homeless, a miserabler combination. Tried to think of places I could stay to recuperate, but my foggy mind refused to work. It was cold outside of my sleeping bag. No will to move. Something in the night had changed me, when only last evening I seemed in fine health, this morning all was different in my world.

Drifting in and out of sleep, by blessed miracle it got warmer and the sun came out. I had to pee again, but lacked the will. When I finally could move again I peed and noticed it was almost noon; five hours had passed. I'd never before slept so late in the park. My parched throat looked to my water bottle which was inexplicably filled with watter. Though I had been positive I had drinken it all during the night.

Everything took on the greatest of Mass and difficulty. Each movement took thought, each though took energy, there seemed to be no energy, zombified as only a cold can do, I didn't even feel hunger. The world was so sunny and inviting I no longer worried about being indoors, but my tobacco supply being low I knew I would need to go out and replenish it. I couldn't stay in the park all day anyways; that's the way to get caught by the cops or park rangers.

Putting one foot in front of the other I slowly, painfully, methodically, and humbly, began the crawl of my day with sickness. Resolved not to wallow in self-pity as I have in days of past sickness. To move slowly and simply. Read and relax. Knowing with faith that with time it will pass.