Poem: Freedom/Prisons

Freedom is not self-sustaining.
"A Double-Edged Sword," Parson's called it.
He was not wrong.
Left on it's own
it degenerates into Anarchy.
Sloppiness, Addiction, and eventually,
Total Imprisonment.
Many Prisoners would call Freedom "imprisonment."
Not unjustly, I think.
It requires repetition, dedication,
some discipline, support of others,
and even moderation...
Who would have thought.

As an Idealistic Youth I imagined
"Freedom"
as living without rules,
indulging without limit,
having access to infinite financial resources
without needing to do anything for them.
Action without consequence.
Everything is permitted,
nothing is sacred.

That "Freedom" led me to
the greatest imprisonment I've ever known;
Mental, Emotional, Physical.

The "Freedom" I now possess,
I would never have called so.
All my actions have consequence.
The best way to get
is to give.
My mental and emotional bondage
is cured by actions;
Meditation, Prayer, Writing,
Uniting with others.
These actions are repetitive,
these actions take energy and discipline.
My physical pain and bondage is cured
by actions:
Stretching, walking, moving,
when I often want to just stay in bed.
These actions take energy,
these actions take discipline.

I am still free to choose.
I can stay in bed,
or take drugs to ease my pain,
but that only leads to imprisonment to drugs.
Only exercise is the road
to Physical Freedom.

I am still free to choose.
Stop meditating, stop prayer,
stop uniting with others;
Staying alone in my room
growing more resentful,
alone, and depressed,
anxious, angry, and hurt,
every day.
A Prisoner to my pain.
Only Spirituality is my road
to Mental and Emotional Freedom.
Meditation takes work,
but so too does misery.

Freedom seems like work.
Freedom IS work.
But not as much as misery.

Freedom is a two-edged sword;
One side is Freedom,
the other side is Responsibility.
I know I sound "old,"
maybe even "boring."
But really I don't care.
I've had enough pain in my life;
I'm ready to wield the sword.