Evening falls and I feel relieved.
Night means the day is almost over
and I made it through another one again.
Even though night is
the worst time for me,
the scariest time for me,
the loneliest time for me.
I'm not sure when it happened,
but lately I've been scared
to go to sleep at night.
I've always been scared of Insomnia;
Always been cursed with Insomnia.
Now, I'm scared to sleep,
scared to Dream.
I sleep during the day, now,
enjoying my naps,
while fighting my guilt
for bringing the night closer.
The night I dread
and look forward to
simultaneously.
As the night wares on
I fear the coming day.
The day I'll be exhausted from the night.
But how can one force oneself to sleep?
I can't.
The fear never ends:
Day or Night.
But evening always relieving,
dawn always too soon.
Loneliness makes more sense at night,
it's easier to make excuses for.
Alone all day;
the Sun melts any excuse,
exposing my meager,
lonely,
fearful, existence,
for all it's worth.
The pit in my stomach that asks,
"Where's my friends,
where's my lovers,
where's my life,
what should I do?"
No answers echo back at me,
from my small, white, walls.
Time passes.
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