physically,
medically...
No, not really.
But I wish I did.
I dream nightmares.
About my family,
and screaming,
and deep,
frustrating,
emotions,
that go on all night.
Only to wake up exhausted
and embarrassed.
At 30 years old
I don't want to still be having
mommy/daddy nightmares.
Oh, but I do.
The other nightmares feel so meaningful,
while seeming so meaningless.
"Grey Dreams" - all of them.
Dreams of people I know in reality,
but only barely.
Seeing the home-life
of the man who sells me cigarettes
and feeling how horrible it is.
I wake up from these in chills,
knowing that it has been too long since
I have last taken my pain medication
and I'm going into slow withdrawal.
Dope-sick dreams;
where my astral body travels,
unbidden,
to spy on nobodies.
Witnessing everyday crimes,
mostly on the self.
Crimes of loneliness and isolation.
I blame my nightmares on my room.
Maybe I'm wrong.
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