Poem: Rehab Again

"Oh you're in rehab again..."
They say with sadness is their eyes.
Pitying my inability to live
a life like theirs,
wishing with good hearts
that I could be "average."

Although I feel a vague sort of
painful shame
at the fact,
I'm also not sure
that I have anything
to be ashamed of.

How does one quantify
the worth of a life?
Would I have been happier,
or even able,
to have lived a planned life,
with college and marriage and kids?

I think not.

It seems I am meant for this life,
for reasons yet unclear to me.
Who could count the good that I do
simply by hanging around?
A smile, a wink, a kind word;
These are of infinite value.

There is no profit
in wishing for impossibility.
Better love my life as it is
and leave the comparrison
to others.