Thoughts: The Occultist

As a young man, the dream of becoming a solitary student of the Occult, was a fine one. Finer indeed than a job or a family, a house or a car.

As a man of full age, Occult Scholar indeed, the gleam of my Trade has been tarnished. For though it can be exciting, to deal with the world of "Les Invisibles (The Invisables)," a human is made a social beast. Remembering now the surprised faces of the older scholars I questioned. Surprised that one so young would be interested in what they surely viewed as a shabby and ill-suited subject: Occultism.

Many have fallen from great heights of Ivory Towers for the "crime" of an academic interest in the forbidden and foreboding subject. To profess a belief in the actions of practical Magick is enough to get one fired and black listed, lucky to ever teach again.

Yet every college with an Anthropology class on Shamanism or Witchcraft, has the class filled to the limit every Semester. The common people "know" about Magick on an inner intuitive level and every year more and more youths are flocking to the study of it.

Though the same college class is often used by the administration to instill propaganda of society and dispel the modern "myth" of Magick. More and more students are seeing the errors of their instructors rhetoric every day.

Poem: A Land of Grey

I dream of doing well

physically,

medically...

No, not really.

But I wish I did.

I dream nightmares.

About my family,

and screaming,

and deep,

frustrating,

emotions,

that go on all night.

Only to wake up exhausted

and embarrassed.

At 30 years old

I don't want to still be having

mommy/daddy nightmares.

Oh, but I do.

The other nightmares feel so meaningful,

while seeming so meaningless.

"Grey Dreams" - all of them.

Dreams of people I know in reality,

but only barely.

Seeing the home-life

of the man who sells me cigarettes

and feeling how horrible it is.

I wake up from these in chills,

knowing that it has been too long since

I have last taken my pain medication

and I'm going into slow withdrawal.

Dope-sick dreams;

where my astral body travels,

unbidden,

to spy on nobodies.

Witnessing everyday crimes,

mostly on the self.

Crimes of loneliness and isolation.

I blame my nightmares on my room.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Poem: Lord of Money

Why do so many
of This World's
financially wealthiest individuals
act in the most
morally reprehensible of Ways?

It's because the
Lord of Material Things
rules This World.
Call It The Devil,
The Lord of the Crossroads,
Shaitain, whatever.
But some of the Wealthy are It's people,
they are rewarded with cash
for doing It's bidding.
Though most of them have no idea of it,
and wouldn't believe it,
nor even care much,
if they did.

Yes... there is Karma.
For every action there is an equal
and opposite
reaction.
It is Vast.
Complicated.
Final.
In many Ages
Poverty
has been revered as Holy,
but rarely has Wealth
had such Honor.
There is a reason.

It rules This World
and tests us daily.
It's not Forever,
nor the only Force at hand.
There is Goodness too,
and Agents of Good,
among us.
There is Help at Hand.

I honor The Master,
as I pass through It's World,
my eye's marvel with all that I see.
The Pain of the Many,
the Wealth owned by One,
Ignorance and Wisdom at Play.
Forces of the Ages
reflecting their dancing,
pray tangles my mind
to their sway.
Observing my fellows
on the wheel of Samsara
Compassion,
not pity,
I Pray.

List: The 12 Steps of Egotists Anonymous (EA)

1. We admitted we were powerless over the Laws of Nature - that we could not control everything in the Universe.

2. We came to believe that Powers greater than ourselves could control everything we could not.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of those Greater Powers.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to the Greater Powers, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have the Greater Powers remove all our defects of character.

7. Humbly asked the Greater Powers to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons, animals, plants, ghosts, and corporations we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such entities wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer, meditation, magick, divination, and service to others, to improve our conscious contact with the Greater Powers as we understood them, praying only for increased knowledge of their will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.