Reprogramming

Hopelessness…
vague and empty.
Struggle pointless,
rewards few
and far away.
Alone,
things are magnified.
The First is so good,
the last, so bitter.
Hardness.
Tribulation.
Constant.
Never-ending.
Everything good
I'm supposed to use less of.
Everything bad
is usually the most responsible course.

I no longer know myself,
my world,
or the path beneath my feet.
Memories retreat
to the time of my young manhood,
hoping against hope,
the answer lies there.

If Sincerity were rewarded,
the riches would be mine.
Every day a little harder,
every inch a little further.

The baseline
of my theme-song
is sad.
Trying to change that
is hard.

Reprogramming, reprogramming,
reprogramming.

I hope it gets better,
soon.