Poem: Only the Water

I can't remember
what y our body looks like
or the specifics of
how we had sex
you come to me in
All-too-brief
flashes of moments;
A ukalayle and a lake
A hug in a pet cemetary
Your head on my shoulder
at the beach

Like a ghost
or my imagination
it's hard to believe
that you really existed
that We really existed
and that we felt so good

Maybe this is for the best
to keep me free of tears
and maybe my brain is
just burned out from use

But for all my lack of
mental connections
my heart refuses to forget
and every email or phone call
is a surprise
like waking up from a dream
to find out it really happened

Why would this being
like me still?
Why did she like me then?
How could I be so lucky
in some areas of life
and so cursed
in others?
How can I still love
from a thousand miles away
with a blank mind
and all the troubles
in the world on my back?

Only the water knows.