Apearences are amazingly decietful and unreflective of the truth. I am constantly amazed by this fact. For example, I have been told that I am very handsome. I was even an actor on television when I was very young, for my beauty. It has been strange, being so handsome. I wear a beard now, just to cover it up a little. I can catch a person's eye and make them blush, by looks alone. I can get some people so hot, until they talk to me. See, I have an inside too, and a very unusual one at that. It's strange to see some stranger light up at seeing me looking at them. So I go over to talk to them and after some small talk it is obvious they nwre not interested in me at all, just my looks. They were happy to have someone who "looked like me" look at them. That's all. This principle works in reverse, too, though. For many days I feel almost blinded by all the sexy young people around me and i find my heart hurting as I think to myself sadly, "why don't I have one of those?"
Only lately has it been hitting me that those sexy young people are connected to minds, emotions, and souls, which might turn me off totally, once discovered. And I don't feel so bad about not having one. Still... It makes me remember back to when I used to dress all crazy, and color my hair, and paint my face, every day. If people are going to look, and judge by apearences, then let them look and give them something crazy to look at. Maybe it's partly college's fault. The heated elimi-date style of competition amoung many of the students to look hot. Add to that the unconcious message that college is "for finding a husband/wife" and you get very weird hormonal stuff going around.
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