“St Boniface Catholic Parish, San Francisco. Lenten Day of Retreat March 1, 2015: titled : “We Must Reach Out” & “CONVERSION.”
I’m writing this open letter to any concerned Catholic as a 34-year old lifetime Catholic and an avid (meaning I not only put money _in the basket_ but that I try to attend _Every_ Sunday, not just "High Hollidays," and partake of -ALL_ the Sacraments of Mother Church, including "Confession") member of the St. Boniface Parish. The reason for my writing is my desire to add to the communal pool of opinions on the subject of “CONVERSION.” Always a difficult subject for me personally and for many other “Younger” Catholics of today’s world.
I hope to enlighten the readers of this letter to the _Specific_ difficulties inherent in “getting through to, Reaching, Successfully Communicating” with the younger people of today; Specifically Generations X (myself included), Generation Y, and now Generation Z.
These three Generations pose problems, in the area of Religious Conversion, which have never before been a Concern of the Catholic Church, and therefore, in my singular opinion, based on extensive service and Membership to these Youth Communities; The “Traditional” Methods of Conversion must be changed to adapt to the times if they wish to be maximally effective, or the youths of today will simply not be attracted to the Church at all, which seems to be the current state.
The main difference is these youths “DESENSITIZATION” (as any Marketing/Advertizing Executive can quickly inform you) – In my case, I was exposed to such a vast quantity of ADVERTIZING, as a little child, that I became totally IMMUNE to it! To this very day ANYTHING that smells even remotely of an Advertisement, or even “Pop Culture” (Being Manipulated, these days, by large Corporations) to me are IMMEDIATELY AVOIDED and most other Peers in my age group as well. We have simply been “marketed to death,” and so far, no one has found a “fix,” but to call us “Apathetic,” and increase efforts ten-fold to ensure that Generations Y and Generations Z _ARE_ “Product- Addicted-Consumers,” mostly by manipulating them on the Internet, but that is another story.
Though _CONVERSION_ is certainly NOT MARKETING, we are asking for almost NOTHING, and we are actually offering EVERYTHING; but to me and mine every ATTEMPT BY THE CHURCH to “CONVERT” _smells_ like plain old ADVERTIZING to us, and so we tend to avoid it like the Plague.
So the pretty simple Question before us becomes: “How do we bring Conversion to these groups of Young People, who view ANY ATTEMPT AT ALL TO INTERACT WITH THEM IN ANY WAY AS MANIPULATION FOR NEFARIOUS PURPOSES (“mind control” being a popular phrase)???”
This is a much bigger question than can be addressed by this simple letter at this point in time, though I do have a few simple suggestions for starters. First, there is another fellowship with a motto of “ATTRACTION RATHER THAN PROMOTION,” emphasizing that the BEHAVIOR OF ITS’ MEMBERS should speak for itself, and thus be ATTRACTIVE. This method has been enormously effective, for almost 100 years, with that particular Fellowship, as well as many spin-off groups.
As _CHRISTIANS_ one would think that this method would be *IDEAL* for us… But sadly, in my own singular experience only; there are many more Parishioners _Claiming_ Christianity than there are actually PRACTICING it. Contrarily, there are many who personify Christ’s Teachings and Love admirably, but will not call themselves “Christian” or especially not “Catholic!” Why is this? That should be a question for serious meditation itself.
Secondly is that The Young today, in America at least, are in dire need of Parental Guidance and Leadership. With the rate of Divorces skyrocketing and so many broken homes; The Young need Strong Adult Guidance and The Catholic Church is in a *PERFECT* position to step up and assume this role. Teaching today’s youths the Morals and Truths they will need to Survive as an Adult and not become a Criminal. What’s keeping these youths from coming to Mother Church, coming to receive the Love and Direction they so badly need, yet cannot find anywhere else? Well, why _should_ they come to us, I ask you? How are We Publicly acting ANY different to those youths than the Police, The Courts, Bad Parents, Organized Criminals, etc who have already hurt them so badly? How are we acting? Yes, the Soup Kitchens and Homeless Shelters we run are fundamental aids to societies downtrodden, but they are salves that come far too late, most often. By the time a person has been so humiliated by their lives that they are willing to even eat in a “Soup Kitchen,” it’s sometimes too late to really help them at all. The Ideal for us, as Evangelists, is to reach people while they are _YOUNG_, while they still have a chance to make the most of themselves. Yes, Jesus came “for the least of us,” but that doesn’t mean we ignore the others, right? To me, we appear to youths to be acting THE SAME AS ARMY RECRUITERS. Telling them what to do, what is right, what is wrong, trying to CONTROL THEIR LIVES, telling them what to believe (rather than just making suggestions and letting them come to their OWN CONCLUSIONS); If I were a confused young person today I would see NOTHING attractive about the Catholic Church at all! Lucky for me, I’m not so young any more… The Young People of today are *BRILLIANT*, *SUPER-EDUCATED*, *WILLFULL*, and more. The same old:
1: “We can save you from hell.” – Many don’t believe in Hell, feel they are already in it, or just don’t care about death.
2:”You need a Savior, we have the only one, you gotta be with us!:” – many of these kids “role-models” turned out to either be blatantly Abusive, or sadly Human (as ALL OUR HUMAN HEROES ultimately turn out to be, right? Because we are all sinners). They do not see any need for a “Savior” of any kind, so this may fall on deaf ears.
3: “Don’t you feel like a dirty Sinner inside? It’s because you are! Come to us and we’ll fix ya right up, and hey, we are the ONLY ones who can…” – Kinda strong-arm this one, neh? Any type of MANIPULATION is a direct turn-off.
4: “Aren’t you terrified of dying?! (Well Duh, EVERYONE IS, practically) Well, we are the ONLY ONES who can make sure you have a GOOD TIME AFTER YOU DIE. Otherwise, it’s gonna be real, real, bad for you. FOREVER.” – Again, rather manipulative, and honestly many of these kids ARE NOT SCARED OF DEATH AT ALL! They worship or seek it, as misguided as that is. And being WELL-EDUCATED, they have probably read all the studies of “Near-Death Experiences” and formed very COMPLEX belief systems surrounding their post-death world and a Catholic Converter who speaks to such a youngster as if they have never before thought about death and they are “beginners” on the Theology of the matter, will only be INSULTING their youth. Again, listening to their ideas first can be very educational.
5: “Christ died FOR YOU! You must be some kind of Schmuck to let God’s ONLY SON DIE, on a CROSS no less, die tortured just for you, and now, what, you don’t give a dang? You must feel GUILTY if you don’t kiss his butt! I mean He DIED FOR YOU, ya ungrateful jerk.” – Just wrong, but I’ve heard it. They get enough Codependent Manipulation like this at home; they don’t need it from us.
6: “We are the Power of Good. We are the ONLY POWER OF GOOD. If you wish to fight Evil, or simply be on the side of GOOD; we are your ONLY CHOICE.” – I like this one, personally, but a bit too Star Wars to actually work. That purple-haired, nose-ringed, tattooed girl you are talking to may actually have a Graduate Degree in “Semiotics,” or “Philosophy,” or some such and spent more time than you can even imagine thinking about what “Good” and “Evil” actually mean. May even have read many Popes and Saints on the subject, and just to make this interesting, perhaps she had an Abortion when she was younger, so she has faced a LOT of HATE from what she views as Catholicism… This is a tough customer, but if she is even talking to you at all, it’s a good sign, but being open to LISTENING to her more than talking is key. She has “The Inquisition” and every other reason why we are “Evil,” So this argument must be used on the basis of FAITH and the CURRENT STATE OF THE CHURCH, not “Facts” or “History.” Still, it remains one of _MY_ personal favorite reasons that I’m a Catholic =D
7: “Aren’t you sick and tired of feeling guilty, feeling that you are worthless? Don’t you want to know _Why_ it is that you feel deep down inside that there is something _Wrong_ with you? Why you sometimes do bad things, things you know you shouldn’t do? Don’t you want to be FREE of all the Burdens of Guilt and Pain? We can show you the way! The reason you feel like that is called ‘Original Sin’ and all Humans have it, but through Jesus Christ you can be saved! He can FREE YOU of all your Guilt and Sin, because that is what he was sent to do!” – I have to admit this is more attractive the older I get, because who doesn’t want to be free of their _Conscience_ sometimes, right? But the kids of today are actually TOO RESPONSIBLE to be attracted to this concept. First, they do not feel any “inherent guilt,’ or if they did they had buried it long ago. Second, they believe in personal responsibility. They don’t think it’s _Right_ that some bearded guy should get crucified for what they do and they don’t even want to think about it. Finally, that was 2000 years ago, right? So just LOGICALLY, how could Jesus have “died for _Their_ Sins.” Even if he did, how could he do that and ALSO die for each and everyone elses? See what I mean, Converters? When you really get into this pitch it becomes like a Graduate Course in Seminary. Best to keep it simple, keep it about you and your experience, speak from your heart and not your brain, because these kids’ brains are getting weirder every day! ;)
You get the Idea, I’m sure.
The Techniques which I am theoretical suggesting may be outmoded have the benefit of being very Basic Arguments, which have been very successful for a long, long time, because they all speak to the very Heart of most of Humankinds deepest INSTINCTS.
However, the YOUTHS of today have been so Inundated with Commercial Manipulation like this, because it was stolen/used by the Mighty Corporate Marketing Machine of the 1950’s – Present for MARKETING ON TV/RADIO/WEB, that NONE OF THE REASONS FROM # 1- 7 MEAN ANYTHING TO YOUTHS AT ALL ANY MORE. They all appear to be “Typical Marketing Come-Ons” that fall off of them like water from a ducks back, no matter how TRUE they actually may be.
That is one of the major reasons, in my opinion, that church numbers (like Freemasonry numbers) have been consistently FALLING. The NEW MAN, with the Internet at his Fingertips, has ALL THE INFORMATION in the World at his fingertips and not a single drop of FAITH or SOUL equally available. For that he is COMPLETELY DEPENDANT ON OTHERS, like the Catholic Church. Whether others can see it or not, I see this as a time when the world needs the Church possible more than ever before, and if it acts ideally, could make a tremendous “come-back,” strictly in terms of Converts. So that is my “Bad News.” The “Good News” is that there _ARE_ many viable and working ways to reach the younger Generations, many of which I have tried to mention, which I believe will help bring younger people into the Fold… But it does sometimes take a HUGE REORIENTATION to the way that many long-time “Converters” see their role, as Catholic Evangelists, a new understanding of just what their job is.
I would greatly enjoy to hear the thoughts of a Priest or some other Office Holder in St. Boniface (as it is _my_ beloved Parish, who inspired me to type out these thoughts, for the Parish Lenten Day of Retreat), or any Catholic Conversion Volunteer for that matter.
In Summary; My, advice, as a “Kool & K-Rad younger Catholic person,” is this.
1. First and foremost try to LISTEN to a potential Candidate. They usually have a LOT to say, before they can be ready to listen to ANYTHING you may have to say. “A full cup cannot be filled; it must be emptied first.” – So many times, if we find someone willing to listen to us, we are so thrilled we begin evangelizing right off – this is not always the wisest course. They also, sadly, sometimes have a lot of RESENTMENTS against the church and only by LISTENING TO THEM FIRST, without reacting or DEFENDING in any way, can we come to a point where they are ready to LISTEN, and we have done them a service by listening to their troubles. By LISTENING FIRST, we open ourselves to the possibility that the Holy Spirit may inspire us to say something to that person SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM, something we never would have said if we had just “launched into our conversion script.” Spending our Primary energy on LISTENING, not only can make us more effective Converters, but also pays homage to the Sacred Catholic Act of “CONFESSION” and as such can be giving the listener a Taste of what Catholic Life can be like. This leads nicely to suggestion two…
2. Whenever possible: TEACH BY DOING, NOT BY TALKING. As Human Mammals we learn first and we learn best by WATCHING OTHER HUMAN ROLE-MODELS. First our parents, then others, often our Spouses (which is why some married couples tend to become more and more like each other as years pass). Rightly or Wrongly Catholic Conversion is WIDELY STIGMATIZED as Catholic people TALKING _AT_ YOU. Which is the last Public Relations image we want for ourselves, right? That’s certainly not very attractive and kept yours truly AWAY FROM THE CHURCH for many years. The only way I know of to change this Stereotype is if we begin to LISTEN more than TALK. And when we talk, talk about OUR LIVES, OUR FAMILIES; To PROVE CATHOLICISM WORKS does not need to be about Bible this and scripture that, though it is nice we have those things as back up. Modern Youth are just not that Shallow (or perhaps “Deep” others may argue). If they are going to decide to become Catholics, or even toy with the idea, they need to see that it’s not just ALL SURFACE LIES. They need to see that BENEATH THE SURFACE are happy people, living happy lives, BECAUSE OF CATHOLICISM. If they need scripture; they can find it a million ways. But how many opportunities do these people get TO MEET A REAL PRACTICING CHRISTIAN…? Probably not that many. Because if you are the type of Christian who is Evangelizing, than you are probably very dedicated to what you do and are thus a GOOD CHRISTIAN. This leads me to suggestion #3…
3. LET THEM LEAD: Once a rapport has started, rather than leading the conversation (a natural turn off for them), let them lead the Conversation! You will be amazed at some of the Insightful and Godly question that youngsters may ask you, and never be afraid to say “I DON’T KNOW!” – They hate liars worse than anything! Don’t force the Bible on them, but IF THEY ASK to see a certain verse you quote in answer to a question or “Prophetic Proofs”, and then bring out the Bible. Once it’s out, DO NOT ASSUME they need/want to see more, ASK THEM, and do not be disappointed if one Psalm is enough; To them it may be all they can digest at the time! If you let them lead, they will leave with a much better feeling, not that they were just “talked at,” but that they had a Genuine “INTERACTION,” and with luck, a Godly One.
4. LET THEM KNOW THERE IS VARIETY IN CATHOLICISM: One of the biggest turn-off misconceptions I find about youngsters and Catholicism is that they think ALL CATHOLICS ARE THE SAME. The last thing any youngster wants is “to be the same” as ANYTHING, right? Let them know that there are TONS of Catholic Churches in the Bay Area, ALL OF THEM DIFFERENT, different Emphasis, different Saints, Languages, etc, etc. INDEPENDENCE and UNIQUENESS are VITAL to youths. They need to know that Catholicism is/has changed so much, and is so DIVERSE ITSELF these days, that they can still be UNIQUE as Catholics and maybe MORE SO _because_ of their Catholicism.
5. There are many more than this, in the end it’s how God Inspires you, and every Interaction is Different. Thank you for listening to my idea’s, but they are just that; Idea’s. I have yet to be a Converter myself, so I can’t know how it is “in the field,” but I have worked with a lot of Youth, especially “At-Risk” One’s, so I Pray my suggestions are Helpful to you this Lent. Please UNDERSTAND, my _Capitalization_ is not “yelling,” as the Internet suggest, but just my way of adding Emphasis. I’m experimenting with _New_ Grammar=D Have a great Lent and Evangelizing season everyone! Thank you for reading, my prayers are with you, God bless you all!
Yours Very Truly,
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