Poem: Jelousy

Jelousy. Sour and thick.
Coursing through the head and penis.
All those with so much
and I with so little.
I dream and ache for the improbable, the long shot;
A lost wallet filled with cash,
a laptop,
a cell phone,
a bag of money even.
I imagine these things constantly,
see them perfectly in my minds eye,
know they will come to me...
Until there are tears in my eyes
and my heart crumples
under the weight of my dreams.
"Nothing," the wind says to me,
"Nothing is coming to you,
you will never have any of it,
you will always be poor."
It makes all that I have
seem like trash.
All the megre things
I have fought so hard to get
become lowley and worthless
surrounded by my dreams of more.
Surrounded by wealthy one's
shopping in malls,
eating out in restraunts,
wearing nice clothes,
and smoking rich cigarrettes.

While I am doomed to suffer alone.

A beggar in the land of plenty.
"CRIME!" My body screams at me.
"CRIME IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE
TO GET A PIECE!"
And I can think of no other way.

This is when the next wave of sadness hits.
Because I am no good at crime either.
So I am back praying
for a miracle.

Poem: I Do Get Tired

I do get tired of praying
and being full of hope;
picturing what good's to come
and staying off of dope.

I do get tired of being unique
while others look the same.
Happy in their worlds of love,
but there's no one to blame.

I do get tired of being alone
with famalies all around;
People's laughter, out with friends.
For me there is no sound.

I do get tired of being tired
and thinking all the day;
Filled with longing for my death
is all I have to say.

Poem: I Am All Alone

My back gets steadily worse.
I am all alone.
The pills will not keep working for ever.
I am terrified.
I am alone.
I could loose my ability to walk,
my back gets steadily worse.
What will the surgeon say?
I'm scared.
I'm alone.
Surgery may help,
surgery may cripple me.
I don't know what to do.
There is nothing I can do.
My back gets steadily worse.
I am all alone.
I will either get surgery
or I wont.
I'll either get SSI
or I wont.
I'll either become crippled
or I wont.
Like a disease;
my fate is uncertain.
All I can do is live with it.
All I can go is wait.
Until I see the surgeon.
Until I get more tests.
Until I get the mail.
Until I get the check.
Just wait.
And try to enjoy my time on legs
while I have it.
My back gets steadily worse.
I am all alone.

Poem: Bills Revelation

I sawa a side I had not seen before.
No person is perfect. We place them on pedestals.
To revere, to look up to, until the hairline fracture, we didn't see,
cracks, brings the whole building down.
This has happened before and may happen again,
each time I look up to them less.
I look towards the day we all will be equal
that day I will be at my best.

Poem: He's Green

He's small and green and wears a kite.
I'm tall and mean; a scourge of light.
The time's so fast it wakes at night.
When once my eyes were blind.

We lived amoung the people
in a grey and ugly cell.
The lies we created
brought money
from hell.
Where once they found trees
were now piles of leaves,
we laughed at their sad-hearted plight.

Oh, my children,
if only you knew the
chaos and succor
of wine!
You'd drench all your fears
with gallons of tears
and dieing
lay crying
for time.