Poem: She's Gone

She responded to my question.
her answer was
"Yes, you and I are not lovers anymore.
I have returned to my former abuser."

Pain clenches my heart
as tears rise to my eyes.
But it is not as bad
as I thought it would be.

Partly sad for me,
partly sad for her,
sadness for her the greater part.
I think.

Like watching friends overdose
or sink into alcoholism;
I hate to see the ones I love
hurt themselves.

The sad and weighty fact
is that
I have no control
over the actions
of others,
no matter how much
I love them.

If she had chosen someone
besides her
former abuser
it would have been
easier for me,
but again
I have no power here.

"It may have been different
if you had stayed,"
she writes.
But I was headed for Hell
and staying was not an option.

I could fight for her,
but I wont.

The sad fact
is that
she was probably drawn to me
by the Abuser within me;
The dark, drooling,
Monster,
I constantly hide and fight
to keep at bay.
And my Monster hates it
when another monster
steals it's pray.

She says
"I hope we can still
be friends."

Which is what they always say.