Tuesday, January 27, 2015
WTF?! NEW BLOG POST GETS 4 HITS in FIRST 20 MINS!
Music That Never Gets Old: "You are what you is," from the album "Frankly Acapella," by "The Persuassions."
This song, and the entire album (thus the "_Frank_" in "Frankly Acapella" Title)is a Tribute to and Cover of Frank Zappa Songs, by The Persuasions , an incredibly talented, all African-American, Acapella-only group.
I'm not a Racist. But, Frank Zappa music is widely believed to be the sole confine of White Nerds. These four Gentlemen prove differently; Zappa is loved by all the peoples of the world =D
You Are What You Is, by The Persuasions
or You Are What You Is, by The Persuasions
YOUTUBE WILL NOT EXIST, NOR CONTINUE TO CONTAIN ALL THE KOOL MUSIC IN EXISTANCE: SO, IF YOU TRUELY LOVE MUSIC, GO OUT AND BUY A COPY OF THEIR ALBUM, OR LEARN HOW TO HAXOR YOUTUBE VIDEO'S & BACKUP, BACKUP, BACKUP!
Theory: 13 ways to _STAY HIGH_, when you _GET HIGH_ ; A Guide For the Truly Desperate Junkie…
(Mostly “discovered” while kicking Diacetyl-Morphine-HCL in jails, but these really work… they are not the way to get “The Best High,” nor ways to “Get the Highest.” They are all simply suggestions based on experience for ways to keep drugs in the Human System as long as possible) 1. Do not eat anything and drink minimal water.
2. Do not sleep. This is true for several reasons. Firstly the brain does a “Cleansing Cycle” while asleep that we do not desire, here. Secondly, when we *skip* that Cycle, all types of toxins build up in the brain, and many of them mimic certain recreational drugs. Thus Sleep Deprivation works. Usually this is not a concern during Opiate, Alcohol, and Benzodiazepine Withdrawal, as Sleep is not an option anyways. (*WARNING* this one can quickly lead to /BAD JUDGEMENT/)
3. Freeze Motherfucker! (Means: Do not move your body more than strictly necessary because it spends Calories and anything that spends Calories=”Detoxing”=”No, thanks!”; ideally stay laying on your back.
4. Limit Sweating: it’s sweating out your drugs, d00d!
5. Freeze Motherfucker! Yes, _again_!(Means: Keep it COLD! Heat causes your body processes to _Act Faster_ = Detoxing = No Thanks!)
6. Don’t Poop or Pee, no really! I don’t actually know any Doctors who agree with me on this one, and most people don’t have the discipline for it anyhow (especially as Opiate and Alcohol Withdrawal often come with uncontrollable “Hershey squirts.”) – But I swear that it works for me. My belief is that by stopping these processes I’m further letting my body know it’s time to “shut down.”
Summary: All these basically point to the same thing, mainly; S-L-O-W-I-N-G down all the body’s natural processes as much as possible. What this means is that your actual Detox/Withdrawal Symptoms, though being /QUALITATIVLY/ less physically painful than others, will /QUANTITATIVELY/ last longer. So it’s rather a Devil’s Bargain. Yes, less pain, but longer pain. The choice is yours.
Though I /DO NOT/ actually _recommend_ these suggestions, per se. In the best situation, with plenty of food and water and freedom to exercise and Coffee and Television – It’s best to Detox as _QUICKLY_ as humanly possible = the exact OPPOSITE of all these suggestions… However, in the event that time doesn’t really matter and resources are limited; You may agree with me (though I pray you will never have to) that a “slow burn” can be very comforting.
Thoughts: College Departments which Tai Chi Chuan Fit Into
1. ANTH - Anthropology, specifically Chinese Cultural Anthropology. I understand that describing a genuine Tai Chi Class, with an Authentic, Auspicious, and Honorable Lineage, as “A Study of the Ancient Chinese Art of Tai Chi,” may be distasteful to Garrett, Maureen, Paul, and other genuine Tai Chi Instructors, though I honestly do not find this description to be dishonest or misdirecting in any way; The only real way to study Tai Chi, Academically, (writing as a “one-credit-short” Cultural Anthropologist) is by learning Tai Chi using Traditional Chinese Methods first, and only then begin to study Tai Chi’s possible Cultural effects on Chinese Society and History in a Broader Sense. Radiating outward from the practices of individual groups, continuing through the Enculturation effects each Ancient Tai-Chi School had on each other (and thus Chinese society as a whole). The only serious way to study both the changes as they now stand, and their differences with origins in history is by beginning a study of the practice as it Currently exists. Though not all Academics with a Specialization in “Asian Culture” will be attracted to intensive classes like these, there is no question that anyone who completes even a “Beginners’ Tai Chi Class” at a Community College has a serious Academic advantage over those who do not … but as I understand this situation the “Community College Accreditation Board,” or whomever, is trying to use “Semantics,” to stop Tai Chi Instruction (aka “Lawyering”) in California Community Colleges, thus why not use the same tactics? In the end, is not Tai Chi being taught what really matters? people will always be attracted to it regardless of whether it’s Officially Listed as “helping with Balance” or “a study in how Chinese deal with balance in their elderly.”
2. HIST – History, Chinese History Specifically. History, as a “Social Science,” is a very close relative to Anthropology and thus the same arguments I use for Anthropology apply here too.
3. PHYS – Physical Education, along with Yoga, Boxing, and other simply Physically Healthy Classes; Tai Chi Chuan as a Marital Art cannot be ignored.
4. DNC – Dancing, Chinese (why not?)
5. Consciousness Studies (? – Check Catalog)
*Naturally I recommend that my theses be passed by someone in the Social Sciences Department, but I seriously doubt that you will have any trouble.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Hypothesis & Experiments in the 4th Dimension
That _If_ there _are_ to be any _Higher_ Order of Beings than Humans in this Multi-Verse; They Must be "4th Dimensional Beings." And what would be the Qualities which _Define_ a 4-D Being? Unlike _Us_, they would not be moving _through_ time; To them /EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY HAPPENED/ &/or could be said to be /HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE/...
...Just try to take a moment, take a few deep breaths, and try to take that ginormous concept in. Because everything we "know" tells us that the "future is unwritten" and that "anything can happen." Not so to a 4-D Being. To "It," the future has already happened... This equals what Physicists like to call a "5-Dimensional Superstructure," but we are not quite there yet, my dear fellow Theoretical and Philosophical Daydreamers.
Our 4-D Beings, being "Above our Time" - yet _below_ the 5th Dimension (aka "Eternity") - basically fit the classic description of JUDEO-CHRISTIAN-MUSLIM ANGELS, ARCH-ANGELS, some JINH, many African Diaspora ORISHA, LOA, & PALO Spirits, many "lesser" PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES, some ELEVATED ANCESTORS, Huna's AUMAKUA/POE AUMAKUA, Theosophist's HIDDEN MASTERS, Uncle Al's Argentum Astrum (Crowley,A:.A:.), etc.
Being 4-D would mean that these beings could easily see a person's future and even date and time of death. Being "Above" our 3-D world they could easily see through walls, Teleport, Read Minds... Appear to do just about *ANYTHING* to us. Just one of these beings on an "Angry Rampage" against Humanity would be an incredible Catastrophy (as some Holy Books tell tales of happening in our Ancient History...). Happily, both our most Ancient Holy Books and the Mathemagical Equations of Magus Albert Einstein point towards the "Law of Nature" and that these Powerful 4-D Beings are just as bound by it as the "Mighty" Planets of Saturn and Jupiter and Bound by Gravity and the Space/Time Continuum.
The Judeo-Chrisitan-Muslim Bible explains this by saying that "Angels were not created with _FREE WILL_, as Us Humans were" (So they are more like Huge Insect Janitors or some such, i guess, forces of Nature?)... ...Except for those who _did_ have "Free Will" (never explained) and exercised it by Mutiny, to become the "Evil Demons _Below_ (...inferring 2-D, perhaps?),"forever jelous of the 3-D Human "Above" them, yet still below the 4-D Angels. Cross Refferencing the "Demonic Data" with more Judeo Books as well as the Holy Koran garners the possible Information that _NOT all_ "Demons (from the Ancient Greek "Daimonos" meaning only "Cosciousness") or "Jinh" (The Koranic Term for Disembodied Powerful Natural Intelligences "made of Fire and Air") _are_, in fact, /EVIL/... ...Some are simply Neutral and a few are even 'Good," wishing only the best for Us Humans. Strange, I know, but I didn't write it... At least, I don't think so...
12th-15th Century Documents from reportedly Organized Ceremonial Magicians of Europe cite their /DATA/(Most notably the Books: "The Goetia of King Solomon [all 5 Volumes, including the Notable "lesser" and "Greater" Keys"] publication often by Uncle Al (Crowley), The "Picatrix," "Collected Works of Cornellius Aggrippa," "The Magus" by Francis Barrett, The "Grand Grimoire," and "Grimorium Verum," and others, all confirm this bizairre *TWIST*; that perhaps _NOT_ all "demons" are "Bad..." But That's for another day!!
Back to my point in hand, have you not already gotten bored or lost it, as well as Uncle Al's Hypothesis stated about 200 years before its' time in his novel-based- on-reality "Moonchild." In this the character "Simon Iff" explains early on to a Neophite how "God" and It's Forces are clearly 4-Dimensional in Nature, and thus how this knowledge helps us to learn how to better *IDENTIFY*, *COMMUNICATE*, and ideally *WORK* with It. Who wouldn't want a 4-D Pal to push things in their favor, eh? With these thoughts in mind ( and I highly recommend that every sincere Knowledge-Seeker read the "Moonchild" chapter with the 4-D Discussion in it ) I present you, my dear readers, with my first two *EXPERIMENTS IN THE 4TH DIMENSION* - which _anyone_ can try! ;]
This first Experiment is very simple to perform and I guarentee that you will receive results within one Moon-Cycle of starting this...HOWEVER: I actually DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS PRACTICE TO ANYONE AT ALL. I performed it for far, far longer than 30 days because the *RESULTS* I garnered were so intense that I did not want to break the Experiment for any reason. Finally it simply came down to my sanity; Either I continued and lost my mind or I stopped. So I stopped, and eventually recovered and processed my data. Here is all I did...
By examining the /action/ of the Smoke, Water, Planet Earth, Earth's Moon, Earth's cycle's around the Sun, the Sun's cycle's around the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, and the Milky Ways Galaxy cycle around the Giant Black Hole Cluster in the middle of the Virgo Constellation... all started to suggest to me that /CIRCLES/ are very important to "The Universe" (and indeed Traditional Witchcraft and Ceremonial Magick AGREE). Metaphysical Theory suggests that "Clockwise" /INVOKES/ (Attracts, brings in, Invites), while "Counter-Clockwise" /BANISHES/ (Sends Away, Cleans).
4-D THEORY & EXPERIMENT #1: If I only walk in /CLOCKWISE/ circles, the _LARGER_ the better; It WILL ATTRACT 4-D "Notice."
NOTES: This is not at all as hard as it may sound, if you do not drive very much, as I do, though public transportation can take some advanced planning. If one reaches an "odd corner," where one is _almost_ forced to go "Counter" all one needs do is turn a few clock-wise circles in place, until facing the desired direction. After a few weeks this can become second nature and barely requires thought. Also the pure fun of planning my entire day in the morning to create larger and larger Circles as I travel around was most unexpected.
RESULTS: I'd rather not say. Though I would really like to hear back from anyone who tries this. My results were nothing less than "mind-shattering." In the words of an old Magician I knew "Never, ever _Invoke_ without _Banishing_!" - This Experiment very much is in the Vein of just Invoking and Invoking and Invoking, without end; Good & Bad, come one, come all, only *KEEP IT COMING*! The _ONLY_ real reason to perform this experiment is _IF_ One really, really, insists on *PROOF* of Other Beings in the Universe. The time it takes to heal from this can be quite lengthy, and some people may not recover at all. With all that fun news I bring you Experiment #2...
4-D THEORY & EXPERIMENT (& Art!) #2: If we live in a Multi-Verse with "physical rules," where every action has an equal and opposite Reaction. A Reaction we cannot see or even Consciously Calculate because of Quantum Realities, the Butterfly Effect, etc... What would it look like, to an Observing 4-D Entity, if Everything which left my "Sphere" (i.e. "Trash," mostly)' Doubled, Tripled, Quadrupled, etc? /HOW/ ? Simple, my dear Watson! Say that I am throwing out a piece of used Paper. Before disposal I cut it exactly in half. Then cut those halves in half, then those, until it's the smallest Confetti... Mathemagically it is close to an "Exponential Increase" in the _NUMBER_ of _OBJECTS_ leaving my Sphere vs. the Single Object which it was when it entered - AND these Objects are all the same size !! It would be a wonderful /MYSTERY/, I must imagine, to a 4-D'er to see this single Sphere consistently turning "1's' into many, many "tiny 1's", repeatedly, for no clear reason, and consistently! Ha ha!
HYPOTHESIS: I will become very Wealthy because the balance of so much Output (+ garbage SPACE saved, by my Art) vs. so little Input must eventually be rectified by the Mechanical Laws of Nature.
NOTES: Though my wealth is doing Humbly & Happily well * this experiment is simply fun because it makes anyone trying to /INVESTIGATE/ me by looking in my trash find not but a bunch of Confetti, hahaha ;D
Good Luck & Do let me know if anyone has any other thoughts on "Impressing the Fourth Dimension"... except on "Tesseracts," please. Quite enough of that, thank you.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Thoughts: My Resume as a "Man of International Mystery"
Resume
* Specialized Computer/Telephony/Social Security Skillset, related Contacts, Real-World Operational Experience, International Reputation.
* Happy with my Life as it is, I am forced to concede that to get a chance to "Test the Limit" of my Intellect/Skillz, perform meaningful work for Humanitarian and Philanthropic reasons with "3rd world" countries in South America and their affiliated "1st World" Sponsors like Venezuela, Brazil, Cuba, Columbia, etc (especially as these are all Countries and Cultures I've always held the deepest respect and regard for, all the more so because I was raised by a Nicaraguan Au Pair who first taught me to love the Spanish Language, gave me my first Cafe, and whom I have always loved in return), I've always held potential as a Teacher and the fact that the Cuban Government _RUNS WINDOWS_ is *PROOF* enough that for these South American Countries to have any real chance at all in the CYBER-REALITY of the 21st Century; They will need a Linux/Unix, Open-Source-based-Infrastructure, and the PEOPLE (read: Hax0rz) to make it happen. I mean seriously. Does _ANYONE_ in the audience not know that *all* Windows Varieties are the *Most* exploited/hacked Operating System on the face of the Planet? These Governments need people like me and they need us bad, because NSA pwns all their N3tw0rk5, y0!
* Extensive ground experience on both Coasts of Mexico and Cuba, with associates and family in Cuba, Nigeria, Columbia, Brazil, Mexico, and many other Countries with Shared Interests. Excellent References available upon Background Check.
* Zero "Ties" to the United States, besides my citizenship and Love of many parts and people of and in it; No Family, Close Friends, Lovers, etc, and Zero "Secrets!" This means, to Intelligence Professionals, that I have Zero "Personal-Life vulnerabilities" which an "Enemy" could potentially exploit (like, for example, if they held my father hostage and threatened to kill him if I didn't do _________; It wouldn't affect me at all. Just as it would not affect him. Neither of our deaths means a thing to the other. But this is exactly the sort of "Personal Leverage" that Professional Spies and Organized Criminals use to Blackmail a person into doing whatever they want all the time).
* Past (and almost certainly Present) "Personality" considered far too "Eccentric" for NSA, CIA, DARPA, Blackwater, MI-6 (https://www.sis.gov.uk/ - application denied by post 1997), France's DGSE Direction General of External Security (http://www.defense.gouv.fr/english/dgse - application denied by post 1997), Germany's BND Bundesnachrichtendienst(http://www.bnd.bund.de/DE/_Home/home_node.html - application denied by post 1997), Australia's ASIO (http://www.asio.gov.au/ - application denied by post 1997), the International Criminal Organization INTERPOL (http://www.interpol.int/ - application denied by post 1997), and probably even Entities like China's "Blue Army" (It's Mass of Cyber-Warlords), The Italian and even Mexican Organized Families (though I'm sure they'd talk me a good game and gladly use me as a Disposable Asset), the vast Proprietary-Shadow-Web-Corporation originally started by the CIA but now so *VAST* that it is, in actuality, very basically: All of Earth's Intelligence & Organized Criminal Organizations Combined into one Massive _CORPORATE_ (read:"Zero _Oversight_") Mega-Beast, Several Private Detectives... though the Police and Sheriff's will still hire me =D Ahahahaha. Not. Even. Kidding. Anyways, the Net Result of all this Creative Past of mine is that by all accounts I am certainly Insane. Therefor I should be able to do almost _Anything_ and it can just be considered another *erratic* event in a Lifetime of them! Can you say "Plausible Deniability?" So, who wants me first...?
* Few, if indeed _Any_, Potential "Vices" left. Those which are left are all legal, well known, and very manageable. Again for Intelligence this means another "Threat-Free Area," no way to Manipulate me there!
* Not motivated by Financial, Political, Hidden, or indeed _Any_ Agenda whatsoever, beyond finally being free to "stretch my wings" and see what I can do. In a Managerial and perhaps even PsyOps way, though the best use of my skills I will leave up to the Bidder with the best offer at the end of the Auction. Again, my lack of motive is a definite Strength, as it again lends me immutable to external Manipulations. If your Country or Company is chosen as the lucky winner of my services the only Payment expected is suitable room and board, a certain amount of "Artistic Freedom" in whatever Venture I'm Performing, a monthly stipend on par with the current wage of a basic Unix Systems Administrator in the United States (about $50k a year. Considering most of my work will be in a Consulting Capacity this rate is ridiculously low, but I present it here as proof of my Sincerity.
* All The World's Great Powers know that whereas the Past "Arms Race" was about "Which Country had the Most Atom Bombs," the Current "Arms Race" is which Country/Company has the _MOST BRAINS/HACKERS/INFORMATION/CYBER-POWER_. I've been a Player in the "Brain-Game" since before the Internet had Pictures and was studying Kevin Mitnick as his computer had a list containing my mother's Credit Card number (taken from the *brand new ISP* Netcom, which we subscribed to for picture-less Terminal Access). I was going to 2600 meetings in San Francisco from 1995-1998, aka "The Age that Heroes Were Born," and let me tell you Honey; I knew most of them. I've written for several Computer Security/Hacker Magazine's and have a reputation, as well as a Rolodex (in my _Head_, d0rk5 ;p). I've even got lines on the _Real News_, you know, the stuff almost _Nobody_ get's to know? What's that worth to ya? Anything?
...
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Theory: The Naure of "Happiness/Joy." (A Quality vs. Quantity Scenario)
I have been asked too many times lately the "Semantically Useless" Question: "Are you _Happy_?"
Always the asker is attempting Sincerity, but fails to understand the broken premise of their now-obvious views on the Nature of this thing we call "Happiness."
I say this not just because I'm a jaded old woman, but because when I awnser them, as I always do, "Sometimes I am happy, other times not," and shrug as if to say "thus is he Nature of Life, Non Mon Amie?" ... But sometimes the Asker just looks at me blankly, as if I did not understand _Their_ question. Oh Irony, my greatest Investment. They try to rephrase," Are you happy right now, are you happy overall in your life, yadda, and etc???" Again I repeat my "Sometimes," often forced into explaining to them _My_ views on the subject that what he knows of "Happiness;" That It is a completely /TRANSITORY/ and 100% _QUALITATIVE_ Experience, essentially just another facet of Experiencing a 3-Dimensional Existence(1 Length & 2 Width & 3 Height, or 1 W-Axis & 2 X-Axis & 3 Y-Axis & being _Propelled_ in a 4-Dimensional Universe (Time, or Z-Axis)...
...To illustrate our "Happinness COnundrum" further; If I asked you "How _MANY_ Dollar Bills you Have?" You could easily count the /QUANITY/ of DOllar Bills you have and awnser me, "I have $20!" Then I ask you how You /FEEL/ about your Dollar, you could answer me "I feel very HAPPY, thank You!"
But when I ask you, "And how do you feel about the number 20?" You may be understandibly confused. Why? Because _20_ is a _NUMBER_, used purely for counting. In nd of itself it is Neutral, neither Good nor Bad; It just is. Then I can follow that question with:"And will You please count for me how many "HAPPINESSES" You currenlty have? Again you may be most naturally confused, because a QUALITY, like "Happiness," only comes in about 5 forms:
i. Most Happy EVER =D !!
ii. Very, Very Happy :)))
iii. Very Happy :))
iiii. Happy. :)
iiiii. Not Happy :(
Dr. Timothy Leary ellucidated on this Scientific Concept of Human Consciousness Studies and had great success in applying it to describing the "Potential States of Psychadelic Experience," (only he adds 6 Neutral, 7 Mildly Negative, 8 Very Negative, and 9 Nightmare/Hellish). I hope you hve at least seen a glimpse, from what I have presented to you so far, of how various "Quality vs. Quantity" Conflicts exist virtually everywhere in our Western society (The only one I have any great expreience studying as a Social Scientist), causing so end of Confusion over what is basically a "Semantic" Misunderstanding by both "Sides."
That point being cleared up i will proiceed with my main points in the form of a Fictional Human Being's Life and the Actions and Consequences it incurs by his always well-intentioned actions. We are now Proud to Present to You, our Loving Audience & Codependants: "The Life of Joe..."
Like all people in this world; Joe wanted nothing more than to "be happy" and to "live a happy life." He was assurred by everything he saws on TV, The Movies, The Interwebs, and all that he heard on the FM, AM, Interweb, & Satellite Radios that "Being Happy most of the time" was entirely possible, and worse, it was being done by almost _EVERYONE_ around him and Joe was just one of those very few "unfortunates," he'd heard called, who were destined to always be poor and lonely and always searching for happiness.
Unlucky with love, his first attempt at "finding happiness" came in 6th grade when he smoked his very first Tobacco Cigarrette with few friends behind the school. That 1 Cig "made" Joe /FEEL/ so "Happy," that his Left-Brain (The part of Human Beings responsible for making sure that "Everything That Ever Happens _MAKES SENSE_, has some "Reason" attached to it; This means it LIES A LOT, but most humans never notice and just learn to live by lieing to themselves /shrug) tried very hard to discover where that "Hppiness" came from. It decided the small /QUANTITY/ of Tobacco had "made" Joe Happy, so Joe should take a _Small Dose_ daily, perhaps a few times a day, to "KEEP HIM HAPPY..."
As time passes Joe's body begins to build up a _Tolerance_ to Tobacco which neccecitates him smoking more and more _Quantities_, just to get the same small "Happiness" he once got from just a little. Does his brain tell him to quit? Hell no. Why? Elementary; Brain & Body are intimately connected. Once the Body is Addicted, so is the Brain, & Joe's brain is now becoming his subtle "Enemy," as it begins even in 6th grade to learn how to "Fool Joe's Conscious Mind & Emotions" into using more Tobacco, by any means necessary. Usually through the process of making Joe feel worse and worse until he is /FORCED/ to turn elsewhere for "Happiness."
So Joe learns about Methamphetamine and the same story plays out, except now he is already a tobacco addict, already is dedicating large portions of his income to it, so it may already be causing Joe more _SADNESS than HAPPINESS_.
Next is Booze; Same story again. People say that "Insanity is doing the same thing again and expecting different results." Sounds good, except i have NEVER met a single human who does not display this odd behavior, in one form or another.
So that's drugs, but let's do a "Normie." They turn not to Cigz, but to SEX or "LOVE." That's "_Natural_," right? Everybody does it and all that? Yet there too we see the exact same story as Joe's first trip with Tobacco. "LOVE ADDICTION" and "CODEPEDENCE" are some of the most widely spred and least discussed Psychological Diseases on the face of the Western World. People "Scared to be alone," so they put up with abysmal behavior from "Partners." People who never learned it's okay to LOVE THEMSELVES or that they have the POWER to MAKE THMSELVES FEEL WHOLE... So they comb the earth looking for that "person who will make them feel whole." A person who will "love them," because they can't/don't love themselves, and usually the partner is the same. 2 "Half-People," imaging that together they make "1 Happy Person."
But a Miserable Marriage? Why that has far less "Happinness" than many Full Time Drug Addictions, Hah! Other ways people "seek Happiness;" Work, Hobbies, Children, Religion, Doctors, Charity, Art, yadda, etc.
My "Theory of Happiness" is simply that It is a _TRANSITORY_ and _Independent_ COnsciousness, which moves as it wills.... to be continued...
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Happy Birthday to Me =D !! Reflections on an Unperfect Upbringing...
The Greatest *FAILURES* of my Parents'
I. The very first thing in this entire world that interested me was the Solar System, most particularly the planet Saturn with it's amazingly unique rings, and this lead me to my first childhood dream of being an Astronaut.
I can remember countless years where what I dreamed of *most* in the World was to go to "NASA's Space Camp" for a Summer. Could my parent's afford this exclusive camp? Easily. Where my grades and intelligence "up to snuff?" Absolutely. Had I actually gone to Space Camp &/or had my parents actually taken any interest at all in the fact that I was intricately interested in being an Astronaut; I would have discovered quite young that to be an Astronaut was no simple thing. It takes years of physical training (something I never became interested in until my mid-20's), The best grades, schools, contacts, understanding of Physics (always a favorite of mine) and Math (never my best subject)... In short, the *REALITY* of what it takes to be an Astronaut is so different that what my baby-mind conceived it took (never being corrected by my parents as to the difference; They just said "How cute! Little "Boo" wants to be an Astro-Not! Isn't that Adowable!), that had I been faced with it at such a young age it _MAY_ have given me the Motivation and Structure for how to lead my life... a Structure I *NEVER* received as a child, much to my detriment as a young adult.
II. The 2nd thing in this entire world which deeply *INTERESTED* me, an a young child, was the Ancient Egyptian Dynasty ruled over by King Tutankhamen, The Three main Pyramids of Giza, and everything about Mummification & Ancient Egyptian Religion.
No clear idea at all where this interest came from! No movies I saw or stories i had read to me had anything about Egypt, but there I was, in Kindergarden, checking out Library books just to look at pictures of King Tut and Mummies. With 20/20 Hindsight this clearly foretold my later devotion to the Academic Field of Anthropology, as well as a study of and appreciation for the Arabic Language as well as Hieroglyphics...
_Again_ did my parents take much notice of this? A little. But still, mostly just, "How cute!" or "How Strange!" As they laughed at their little child over their wineglasses at the dinner party we always seemed to be having. Did they explain to me how this absolute *PASSION* could be turned into a /CAREER/ later in life? Teach their only child about Archeology, Anthropology, Egyptology, Teaching & Research Careers? Did they help to turn this innate gift into anything *USEFUL* at all? Sadly, no.
III. For my K-8 School my parents tried something Novel, which I still appreciate to this day. They took me to 3 interviews; A non-nun mixed-gender Catholic school, a Casual Artsy "Rudolph Steiner" kind of school, & they took me to the Gender-Segregated Arch-Conservative Episcopalian Archdiocese of California's "Cathedral School" in a Gothic Cathedral on the top of San Francisco's Knob Hill, where students whore dress uniforms, where required to attend Mass 3 times a week before class, and has a heavily religious bent to their schedule of studies... Have you guessed which I chose? The Cathedral, of course, much to my parent's surprise (who would have much preferred the Steiner School, I imagine).
Well, this was really something indeed! My Da's Parent's are very serious Catholic's, Grampa even being a Knight of Columbus for many decades, so Da rebelled and is a Rabid Atheist of course. Ma's Folk are Relaxed Catholic's, who mingle freely with Protestants and other denominations, her Da even being a 32nd degree Scottish Rite Freemason. So she is much more an "Agnostic" Believer, happy to honor God wherever others are doing the same. Sadly, growing up, Da's Iron Fist tended to Rule the House, so "Religion/God/Spirituality" where _NOT_ topics we were encouraged to discuss.
Despite this religiously repressive environment I have always known/felt a deep and permanent connection to God/Goddess/Universal Consciousness, whatever you wish to describe it as. No matter how miserable I felt my childhood was; I never felt I was without God. One of his "little Miracles" was that I found an odd colored white audio cassette among my Ma's tapes, while rummaging around one day in my parent's stuff, as children are wont to do. This tape had a Silver Sticker on it and said something like "Terry Brooks" & "Energy Meditation."
Well, I used to have serious & chronic Insomnia in those days & it seemed there was so cure for it (except being so afraid of my Da's fists that I learned how to lay flat on my back for 8 hours and just pretend to sleep. My first "Yoga Discipline,"). This tape had Beethozen's "Bagatelle in C Minor" in the background while "Terry Brooks (I guess)" narrated an "Energy Meditation." She started with Grounding, eventually moving up to working with Chakras and how to destroy Negative Psychic Stuff. I never made it through side 2 without falling asleep. It was the only thing in the world which could do it & I listened to it ever night that I could, for many, many, years. Ma claimed she had "no idea how she got it" & that I was welcome to it...
...Did my 2 Parents make anything of the _FACTS_ that their tiny child was already Meditating Nightly and was deeply called to God? Did they try to discuss Religious Beliefs with me, potential Religious Lifestyles & Careers? Did they even give him a Bible? Of course not. It was just another funny anecdote for their Cocktail Parties. Why encourage something as "useless" as Religion?
In 4th Grade, School introduced our class to "Comparative Religions!" It may be the first exciting scholastic moment of my life. When our class visited the "Gold Mountain Sagely Buddhist Monastery" in China Town my young mind was blown. I knew the Buddha _COULD_ bring peace to my miserable, tormented, young life. I immediately spent my candy money on a mostly Chinese Book on Buddhism, much to the amusement of the Monk's there. Then I began to practice formal Buddhist Meditation. Did my parents even notice? Did they have any idea what it meant? Of course not. Just another "Odd Thing" about their "Odd Child." Nothing to encourage, mind you. Even though all our Modern Western Science Confirms that MEDITATION IN INCREDIBLY HEALTHY for not only the body, but the mind, emotions, and even Spirit. By this time I was well used to no support.
In 7th Grade I discovered "Psychic Horizons," a "Psychic Meditation" School which took the basics of sitting meditation, but added to it the exact sort of Effective Creative Visualization Technique's Employed by the "Terry Brooks" Audio Cassette of my young youth.
The staff of Psychic Horizons was stunned to say the least. They insisted on calling my Mother and having her come to an Introductory session, so she knew exactly the sort of thing her child was getting itself into. She agreed, as always, and signed a waivor or something. I continued to amaze them there, with my progress. I suppose they had never seen such a powerful Psychic so young, so self-motivated. They were *IMPRESSED* and quickly turned into a sort of family for me, always watching over me protectively and doting...
...Was my Ma _Impressed_ at being the youngest & brightest Psychic they had ever seen? Of course not. Da? Hah! I don't think he knows about that school, to this day! As always; No Respect & No Credit.
Next in the "Spiritual" category was when I began taking "Cerimonial Magick Classes" at Ancient Ways Occult Supply store in Oakland. I was by the the youngest student they had ever had there & I constantly amazed them too. They turned into my next Family & I even began attending O.T.O. Gnostic Masses & other events. Like Psychic Horizons before them, the O.T.O. insisted in my Ma attending a Gnostic Mass, to prove she knew what she was letting her 13 year old child participate in. The naked woman on the alter didn't bother her at all - though in all fairness I don't think she knew that when she ate the "Cake of Light" that the O.T.O. uses as a Communion Wafer, that she was eating the Semen & Sexual Fluids of the Naked Priestess and present Priest. But then, neither did I, yet. So she duly Signed a Waivor so that her young child could hang out with those Freaks of Nature, where I was again, possibly the youngest person to attend an O.T.O. Gnostic Mass since the 1920's. *AGAIN* taking apparently no notice at all that their child was Intensely Obsessed with Occult & Ritual matters of the most exotic sort. To them it was all just "childishness" &/or "a phase." They _Still_ could not see that God/Magick was my *LIFE* & that it always would be. But how could they? Being so inexperienced in Spiritual matters. Oh! I suppose they could have *LISTENED* to me and *LEARNED* from me (In fact my Ma _DID_ for a few years; I taught her Meditation & Tarot Cards and she was very happy with both until she just got lazy and stopped practicing...), but that would entail *RESPECTING* me as an actual *INDIVIDUAL* with a *LIFE/MIND/SOUL* of my Own, and that maybe, just maybe, I _might_ actually *KNOW* something they don't. And the idea that little 'ol _me_ could possibly know something my parents do not; Is still something their massive EGO's can just not stand for. Ce La Via. IV. When my 2nd dog died my parents decided to tell me by informing the Chaplain at my School. So there I was, surrounded by my 300 schoolmates, one fresh morning before school, and the chaplain says "We'd also like to pray for Huang's dog who died this morning..." I look to the seats reserved for parents and there are mine. Looking at me and nodding, the Bastards. While all my schoolmates are poking me and asking if it is true and I'm saying I don't know. Older kids trying to make me cry. Dick move folks. Cowardly & Dick Move. V. My Da the Architect finally had a building which was a _HUGE_ success, out by Candlestick park, and it was built next to two towers; A White One & A Black One. There was going to be a News Story about it and someone thought it would be "cute" if the "Architects Son" gave childish _Nicknames_ to those two buildings! Wouldn't that be cute! When Da told me that _I_ got to pick the names I was very, very, honored. I thought long & hard about what they should be named, but Da interrupted me, saying "Well, what do they look like? One's white & one is black, right?" Trying to lead me somewhere. "Chess Pieces," I guessed. "no!' He raged. "Like Darth Vadar & Luke Skywalker!" I liked the movies, but not enough to name buildings after them...
...The paper said I named them "Darth Vadar..."
